December 4, 2012
It has already been 3 years since you are gone grandma. Here is a piece I specially wrote to dedicate to you. Rest in peace. You will forever be in my heart.
It's already 3 years since you been gone
I been living my life for me and for you
Pursuing my dreams like how you would tell me to
Always facing reality never hiding from the truth
Only if you were here to share my happiness with
So I can feel what my accomplishments really is
I have graduated college with a bachelors degree
I can just see you smiling super brightly
I have met so many new people since I left you
Some comes and goes, but some do stay in my heart and soul
A lot of inspirations and a lot of changes
All for the better, to help me grow in different stages
If you could see me now you will be so proud
Doing my thing, the passion is found
For you I will work harder
For you, I will smile brighter
Until the day we meet again
Forever in my heart is where you will be found
Love,
Jason
Friday, December 7, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Episode 4: Decisions decisions...
Both of these options are hard to come by. Both of these options may lead me to a brighter future.
Before I made any decisions, I made sure I spoke to a few people and hear what they have to say. The first person I approached was my chef, my mentor, the person that inspired me to do what I do, and the person that taught me about life... Chef Harris. His opinion weights heavier than anything anyone says.
Chef Harris weights out both of the options and we spoke about the things that each of them can offer me:
Going to France, the birth place of fine cuisine is such an exquisite experience. But the question is, where will I be sent to? An unknown bistro in the country side of France that no one knows about? When I put that on my resume, no one will know where that place is and how reputable it is. They will just see that you have worked in France for 3 months...
A restaurant owned by Michael White, a well established chef in the culinary world, is known by many in the industry. Having a chance to work in one of his establishments will look much brighter in your resume. Working there will give you plenty more opportunities in the future. That is what you need to do right now, put yourself out there.
Then I spoke to a few of my close friends that are also into culinary arts from school. They told me the same thing.
Going to France is a great experience but working under a chef that is already well known is better. Think of the networks that you can be building and chances of moving to their other restaurants.
One of them already did the 3 month France work abroad program, so those are not empty words.
At the end, I weighted out both choices and I picked staying in NYC working in Chef White's restaurant. Chef Harris and my friends were right. I need to do what is best for myself right now. Both are really rare opportunities, but what I picked was the better of the two. This was what I needed to do.
Check out this song here by Bryant Dope. A Queens kid trying to make a scene in the music industry. A simple yet motivational song. Straight forward.
Before I made any decisions, I made sure I spoke to a few people and hear what they have to say. The first person I approached was my chef, my mentor, the person that inspired me to do what I do, and the person that taught me about life... Chef Harris. His opinion weights heavier than anything anyone says.
Chef Harris weights out both of the options and we spoke about the things that each of them can offer me:
Going to France, the birth place of fine cuisine is such an exquisite experience. But the question is, where will I be sent to? An unknown bistro in the country side of France that no one knows about? When I put that on my resume, no one will know where that place is and how reputable it is. They will just see that you have worked in France for 3 months...
A restaurant owned by Michael White, a well established chef in the culinary world, is known by many in the industry. Having a chance to work in one of his establishments will look much brighter in your resume. Working there will give you plenty more opportunities in the future. That is what you need to do right now, put yourself out there.
Then I spoke to a few of my close friends that are also into culinary arts from school. They told me the same thing.
Going to France is a great experience but working under a chef that is already well known is better. Think of the networks that you can be building and chances of moving to their other restaurants.
One of them already did the 3 month France work abroad program, so those are not empty words.
At the end, I weighted out both choices and I picked staying in NYC working in Chef White's restaurant. Chef Harris and my friends were right. I need to do what is best for myself right now. Both are really rare opportunities, but what I picked was the better of the two. This was what I needed to do.
 |
| Chef Harris and I in the awards reception dinner. |
Check out this song here by Bryant Dope. A Queens kid trying to make a scene in the music industry. A simple yet motivational song. Straight forward.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Episode called Life: Behind the Smiles
To the person that broke my heart:
The first time I opened my heart. The first time I thought I found the one I have been searching for. Although it was too early to tell, but I had that feeling. I really thought you were the one. We had opposite personalities and characteristics, but yet we still felt the connection. I mean, we met at the most random circumstances... Hundreds of people sat in front of me but it had to be you. Is that not fate doing her job or what? The first time I saw you, everything about you were flawless. As I got to know you more, I fell for your personality completely. Utter defeat.
What a shame this has to end. It felt like a dream. A dream that I don't want to wake up from. My head was really in the clouds. Then BAM, it hits you (haha, I had to use this line). The moment you said those words, so much just went through my mind. So much that I couldn't express in time. So much emotions. So much unspoken words. Then my mind went completely blank. I guess this is a wake up call. Good dreams will eventually come to an end. But this was a short dream though... only if it was longer.
"You are an amazing guy..."
I obviously wasn't amazing enough for you...
"You will find someone who will touch your heart..."
My heart got shattered to many pieces already, it will be hard to find them and place them back to where they once belonged...
"I respect you so much that's why I am telling you all this..."
I really really appreciate and respect your honesty, which is another reason why I fell for you. But never would I have thought that this is what torn my heart apart...
"I want us to still be friends, but if you don't feel the same, I understand..."
The worse possible thing a female can say to a male. At this point my conditions were critical. How can I bare seeing you... as a friend after this. BUT how can I just erase you from my memories... I wish it was as easy as erasing the blackboard. I cant. All I can say is... it's okay. We can still be friends. Oh the biggest lie I ever told. It hurts. It really hurts... so much...
"I will not go there anymore so you won't have to see me..."
Hearing this I turned from critical condition to certified broken hearted. What's left of my heart is now with the other pieces somewhere else. How dare you think of me so selfish as to tell you not to do/go something/somewhere... I respect you way too much to even dare think of anything like this. And it hurts me even more that you would say something like that. Shame on you.
NOW, only if I was this analytical and well composed, maybe it might have ended differently.
That conversation puts me in such a difficult position. A position where I have to pick one or the other... feels almost like a movie. Me being myself, I obviously picked wanting to be friends with you again. I'll be here when you need someone to talk to... or a shoulder to lean on... I'll be here. That pinky promise ain't for show. When I pull that pinky out, it goes. Haha (insider joke). As cliche as it gets, I guess you being happy is all I really want... that was something I forgot to tell you though.
Hey, even though you are portrait as a bad guy here, don't worry, I am just venting ^.^ You won't see this post anyways so it really doesn't matter. Although a part of me wishes you would see this. Maybe after reading this will change your mind? Haha, I am a dreamer after all.
It hurts so much, but tears won't come out. Was I not as attached to you as much as I thought I did? All those unspoken words... all those hidden emotions... I wish I poured them out that moment. Arggg. Dammit Jason, why do you always make yourself regret shit that you didn't do? Now I will be forever be left with an imperfect smile. Maybe until someday I find that person that you spoke of. The one that will put the pieces back together. Or maybe it will get better in time. Time heals all wounds after all... and I hope that goes for you too.
I apologize for not being able to mend the broken heart that you were left with... I tried... I really did.
Now I know what it means when someone says the pain behind those smiles... So much pain is hidden underneath it. Almost unbearable. Smiling from afar when I see you happy... (pretty creepy).
Sincerely,
The guy behind the smiles
P.S. Sorry people, I completely forgot about the follow up post from the last update. I'll give you that one after this one. I felt like I have to pick up the pen and pour my heart out on this one...
And Last but not least, today I present you the talented Bruno Mars. This song was first released off his EP, It's Better If You Don't Understand, then it went on his official debut studio album "Doo-Wops & Hooligans." It talks about how you can count on your friend... blah blah blah... Bottom line is, I'll be there for you.
Bruno Mars - Count on Me
The first time I opened my heart. The first time I thought I found the one I have been searching for. Although it was too early to tell, but I had that feeling. I really thought you were the one. We had opposite personalities and characteristics, but yet we still felt the connection. I mean, we met at the most random circumstances... Hundreds of people sat in front of me but it had to be you. Is that not fate doing her job or what? The first time I saw you, everything about you were flawless. As I got to know you more, I fell for your personality completely. Utter defeat.
What a shame this has to end. It felt like a dream. A dream that I don't want to wake up from. My head was really in the clouds. Then BAM, it hits you (haha, I had to use this line). The moment you said those words, so much just went through my mind. So much that I couldn't express in time. So much emotions. So much unspoken words. Then my mind went completely blank. I guess this is a wake up call. Good dreams will eventually come to an end. But this was a short dream though... only if it was longer.
"You are an amazing guy..."
I obviously wasn't amazing enough for you...
"You will find someone who will touch your heart..."
My heart got shattered to many pieces already, it will be hard to find them and place them back to where they once belonged...
"I respect you so much that's why I am telling you all this..."
I really really appreciate and respect your honesty, which is another reason why I fell for you. But never would I have thought that this is what torn my heart apart...
"I want us to still be friends, but if you don't feel the same, I understand..."
The worse possible thing a female can say to a male. At this point my conditions were critical. How can I bare seeing you... as a friend after this. BUT how can I just erase you from my memories... I wish it was as easy as erasing the blackboard. I cant. All I can say is... it's okay. We can still be friends. Oh the biggest lie I ever told. It hurts. It really hurts... so much...
"I will not go there anymore so you won't have to see me..."
Hearing this I turned from critical condition to certified broken hearted. What's left of my heart is now with the other pieces somewhere else. How dare you think of me so selfish as to tell you not to do/go something/somewhere... I respect you way too much to even dare think of anything like this. And it hurts me even more that you would say something like that. Shame on you.
NOW, only if I was this analytical and well composed, maybe it might have ended differently.
That conversation puts me in such a difficult position. A position where I have to pick one or the other... feels almost like a movie. Me being myself, I obviously picked wanting to be friends with you again. I'll be here when you need someone to talk to... or a shoulder to lean on... I'll be here. That pinky promise ain't for show. When I pull that pinky out, it goes. Haha (insider joke). As cliche as it gets, I guess you being happy is all I really want... that was something I forgot to tell you though.
Hey, even though you are portrait as a bad guy here, don't worry, I am just venting ^.^ You won't see this post anyways so it really doesn't matter. Although a part of me wishes you would see this. Maybe after reading this will change your mind? Haha, I am a dreamer after all.
It hurts so much, but tears won't come out. Was I not as attached to you as much as I thought I did? All those unspoken words... all those hidden emotions... I wish I poured them out that moment. Arggg. Dammit Jason, why do you always make yourself regret shit that you didn't do? Now I will be forever be left with an imperfect smile. Maybe until someday I find that person that you spoke of. The one that will put the pieces back together. Or maybe it will get better in time. Time heals all wounds after all... and I hope that goes for you too.
I apologize for not being able to mend the broken heart that you were left with... I tried... I really did.
Now I know what it means when someone says the pain behind those smiles... So much pain is hidden underneath it. Almost unbearable. Smiling from afar when I see you happy... (pretty creepy).
Sincerely,
The guy behind the smiles
P.S. Sorry people, I completely forgot about the follow up post from the last update. I'll give you that one after this one. I felt like I have to pick up the pen and pour my heart out on this one...
And Last but not least, today I present you the talented Bruno Mars. This song was first released off his EP, It's Better If You Don't Understand, then it went on his official debut studio album "Doo-Wops & Hooligans." It talks about how you can count on your friend... blah blah blah... Bottom line is, I'll be there for you.
Bruno Mars - Count on Me
Friday, April 13, 2012
Episode 3: On a Hunt!
I have finally decided to join the France work abroad program that my school had. So I decided to look for a job so I can save up for it. I was walking around with my resume in hand, going to all kinds of places. I went from restaurants to supermarkets to clothing retail shops. I did not care which it was, my goal was to just look for any job to work for 3 months.
As I was about to go home, I walked by this restaurant that looked kind of interesting. I went to check out the menu and saw that the Chef and owner was Michael White. Michael White is a very well established Italian chef. Chef White is the executive chef of Marea (2 Michelin stars) and Ai Fiori (1 Michelin star, 3 stars in New York Times). Being shameless and fearless, I walked in and asked if they were hiring.
The hostess said they will give my resume to the chef. Then when I thought my day concluded, I stepped out of the restaurant and was on my way home. Then out of nowhere, my cell phone ringed with an unknown number. It was the executive Sous Chef of Morini. I received the call like literally 5-10 minutes after I handed in my resume. He asked if I was still around the area, I said yes. So I went back to the restaurant and had a talk with him. He agreed to let me trail there for one day. Trail is a kitchen term that basically means a tryout for free for 1 day before they decide to hire you or not. What a way to end my day!
But that trail just became a dilemma to me. If I get hired, do I want to stay in a restaurant that is owned by a chef that is already well established? Or do I take a chance and go to the work abroad in France?
To be continued...
On the side note, I have learned many interesting things in my internship. Here is a pictures of something that I was part of.
Here is a song for ya'll by one of the rising stars from Jay-Z's RocaFella Records. A lyricist and realist. His story telling ability are well demonstrated in his debut album, Cole World: A Sideline Story. For any real Hip-Hop fans this album is a must listen. He paints a picture so vividly through his lyrics.
As I was about to go home, I walked by this restaurant that looked kind of interesting. I went to check out the menu and saw that the Chef and owner was Michael White. Michael White is a very well established Italian chef. Chef White is the executive chef of Marea (2 Michelin stars) and Ai Fiori (1 Michelin star, 3 stars in New York Times). Being shameless and fearless, I walked in and asked if they were hiring.
The hostess said they will give my resume to the chef. Then when I thought my day concluded, I stepped out of the restaurant and was on my way home. Then out of nowhere, my cell phone ringed with an unknown number. It was the executive Sous Chef of Morini. I received the call like literally 5-10 minutes after I handed in my resume. He asked if I was still around the area, I said yes. So I went back to the restaurant and had a talk with him. He agreed to let me trail there for one day. Trail is a kitchen term that basically means a tryout for free for 1 day before they decide to hire you or not. What a way to end my day!
But that trail just became a dilemma to me. If I get hired, do I want to stay in a restaurant that is owned by a chef that is already well established? Or do I take a chance and go to the work abroad in France?
To be continued...
On the side note, I have learned many interesting things in my internship. Here is a pictures of something that I was part of.
 |
| Watermelon radish flowers. |
J. Cole - Dollar and a Dream III
Sometimes this is all it takes. To me, dollar and a dream is a metaphor for taking a chance. What does it mean to you?
Sometimes this is all it takes. To me, dollar and a dream is a metaphor for taking a chance. What does it mean to you?
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Episode 2: In the Process of Learning
Now that I am at my senior year of college (graduating with 140 credits because of the switch of majors) I have to take an internship course. It is a way of the school helping you prep for whats to come next. But due to some privacy policy contracts that I had to sign, I will not be mentioning the name on the internet. However, I can post pictures of the stuff that I am learning. Every day is a different day. Complete new experience. If it is not the wake up early part, I would definitely look forward to it more each day. Here are a few things that I do.
I am still learning! There are many more things to come. Stay tune, until next time.
This is a lemon garnish that I learned from my sous chef. He worked in a few sushi restaurants and have a lot of experience when it comes to sushi making and garnishing.
One of the VIP fruit plates that I do for the guests. Just simple fruit placements and the usage of the nice plates.
Cucumber flower and a tomato flower. The cucumber flower can be used as a garnish or you can use it as a platter for other garnishes.
Apple turned into a bird. Awesome technique that the garde manger cook show me. Very cool.
This is a sliced fruit platter that is enough for about 18 people. There were good variety of color contrasts and all the fruits were placed nicely.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Episode 1: Past
New year, new beginning. Let the past be bygones. We say that all the time, but can we really let it all go that easily? The answer is no. Well, unless you have amnesia or memory loss. Even then, this memory will always remain, somewhere deep down your memory lane. So we had came to a closure for the better (or for the worse). Now here we go, a new story, new chapter. But before we start that, let's talk briefly about my transformation in the past few months that I was MIA.
After a month of searching and searching in summer, I got called in for an interview for a job. I was very nervous because that was my first interview for a kitchen job and my resume does not put me in any advantage at all. Also, I didn't know if I should bring my tools and chef uniform or be in professional attire. So I went to the interview in professional attire. I arrived to the restaurant on the dot because it took longer than expected to find the address. The chef came out, shook my hand and greeted me. And the interview begins...
He began the interview by telling me about himself. From the introduction I can tell he is definitely the chef I want to work for. His credibility was just beyond the norms. He graduated from FCI; stage (French word for training) around France and Spain for two years; worked as executive chef in some other establishments; and worked for Joel Robuchon for two years. Joel Robuchon is one of the most respected chefs world wide. This man holds the most Michelin stars, 26 (Michelin stars are given to top notch restaurants in terms of food and service. The rating is from 1 to 3 stars). Now that is an incredible resume. So that was his story, now its my turn to convince him why he should hire me...
I was nervous, but I spoke my heart out. I confessed about my passion, my dedication, and my determination. I told him the story on how I discovered my passion in the kitchen. I wanted to learn more. I wanted to perfected my techniques. I wanted to use my knowledge and transform it into professional experiences. I wanted to work with this chef. And that's what I told him. He wasn't surprised at my aggression. In fact, he was happy for me. He welcomed me with a handshake. At that moment, I was speechless. I responded back with a firm handshake. Chef Edward Martinez, the second chef that I truly respect.
I worked in East End Kitchen from June 2011 to December 2011. In this restaurant, I accomplished so much and the most important thing is I enjoyed every bit of it. Quoting from Confucius, "Find a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in you life." The experience was truly amazing. The people that I met were rewarding. My techniques, finesse, speed, and style have all evolved to another level. I learned to improvise when ingredients were short, I can now keep a better composure under great pressure, my personality as a whole has grown with this experience. Although I was there for only six months, it was a very memorable and definitely a well worth experience.
Anyways, big announcement! This post marks the end of "Back Against the Wall" series and introduces a start of my new journey. I will no longer lurk in the past. Everything from now on will be either of Present or Future. Thank you for reading Episode 1!
After a month of searching and searching in summer, I got called in for an interview for a job. I was very nervous because that was my first interview for a kitchen job and my resume does not put me in any advantage at all. Also, I didn't know if I should bring my tools and chef uniform or be in professional attire. So I went to the interview in professional attire. I arrived to the restaurant on the dot because it took longer than expected to find the address. The chef came out, shook my hand and greeted me. And the interview begins...
He began the interview by telling me about himself. From the introduction I can tell he is definitely the chef I want to work for. His credibility was just beyond the norms. He graduated from FCI; stage (French word for training) around France and Spain for two years; worked as executive chef in some other establishments; and worked for Joel Robuchon for two years. Joel Robuchon is one of the most respected chefs world wide. This man holds the most Michelin stars, 26 (Michelin stars are given to top notch restaurants in terms of food and service. The rating is from 1 to 3 stars). Now that is an incredible resume. So that was his story, now its my turn to convince him why he should hire me...
I was nervous, but I spoke my heart out. I confessed about my passion, my dedication, and my determination. I told him the story on how I discovered my passion in the kitchen. I wanted to learn more. I wanted to perfected my techniques. I wanted to use my knowledge and transform it into professional experiences. I wanted to work with this chef. And that's what I told him. He wasn't surprised at my aggression. In fact, he was happy for me. He welcomed me with a handshake. At that moment, I was speechless. I responded back with a firm handshake. Chef Edward Martinez, the second chef that I truly respect.
I worked in East End Kitchen from June 2011 to December 2011. In this restaurant, I accomplished so much and the most important thing is I enjoyed every bit of it. Quoting from Confucius, "Find a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in you life." The experience was truly amazing. The people that I met were rewarding. My techniques, finesse, speed, and style have all evolved to another level. I learned to improvise when ingredients were short, I can now keep a better composure under great pressure, my personality as a whole has grown with this experience. Although I was there for only six months, it was a very memorable and definitely a well worth experience.
Anyways, big announcement! This post marks the end of "Back Against the Wall" series and introduces a start of my new journey. I will no longer lurk in the past. Everything from now on will be either of Present or Future. Thank you for reading Episode 1!
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