Just when I thought everything can't possibly get any worse... reality hits even harder...
Date: December 4, 2009
Setting: Times Square
Event: Chilling with D Square
What happened: Got a text from my sister.
Text description: Grandma in China passed away.
That moment's exact reaction: At a loss of words and dumbfounded
That was probably the worse day of my life. How the fuck am I going to deal with all these shit happening at the same time? What am I suppose to do? That night was suppose to be the relaxing night but that text message just fucked it all up. At that point my mind just went blank... I was just sitting there waiting for my friend to finish what he was doing. As he approached me, I was already drifted to another world. It was the third or fourth time he called my name before I came back to reality. I looked dumbfounded, the look in my eyes had no concentration. I wasn't focusing on anything in particular... I couldn't, I was just looking all over trying to take my mind off the subject matter.
D Square noticed me acting weird as well, so he asked me what is wrong. So I told him what happened... my delayed reaction finally came. I was at the brink of breaking down. My eyes started to get watery. But I stayed strong, trying to hold it back. I am in Times Square after all... there were hundreds of people around me. I got to have self control, I kept telling myself that over and over again. And after a few minutes I succeeded in holding back my cry. With that said, we continued our journey in search of a place to eat. As we wandered around, we remembered the supposedly "best" hallah food is near here so we went and look for it. After I asked my friends where it was, that bitchass gave me different answers every time. So D Square called up his sister and we found the spot. After waiting on that long ass line in the cold, we finally got our food. Ate and called it a day. It was about 11 PM or something. I bought an extra chicken and lamb over rice for my sister (yea I am a good bro =D) and went home.
When I got home, there was this depressing atmosphere in the house... everyone was so quiet. I just went on computer and played some WarCraft (typical Asian) to see if I can release some stress. Shit didn't help though. I eventually gave in to my emotional/sensitive side. Suddenly a drop of tear fell on the floor. I wiped my face then ran into the bathroom. Turned on the facet and cried to the fullest. That was the first time I cried so hard since... like forever... too long to remember. She was in China, I was in New York... I couldn't even see her for the last time. This will remain as a flaw in my heart forever.
I don't believe in God... but I was still praying for her to be better on the other side. Even though you are gone physically, you will forever remain in my heart. You will forever be part of my memories. I know you don't want to see me like this so I will get my act together and get back on my grind. I know you will be watching my back. R.I.P. grandma.
Smilez & Southstar - Now That You're Gone
Chamillionaire - Won't Let You Down
