Hmmm... after so many chapters, there is finally a self title chapter name, Back Against the Wall. Why did i chose this title for my blog entries? Well, for one, it sounded good. And two, sometimes that's exactly how I feel. Everything, all the bad shit that you never thought would happen, happened to me all at once. They were rushing at me like there is no tomorrow. It's like school wasn't stressful enough some family issues comes up. Great, perfect timing. Its like stress and problems are best buddies, they always come along side each other.
Any of this shit every happened to any of you before? Three five page papers due the same week if not the same day. Then three more tests on the same day, total up to five tests that very week. Fuck I think I got myself a dilemma, which subject should I start studying first? You already know an all nighter is coming up from that shit. Hold up more good stuff is coming. Rent was due on the first and that day was already the third. May I ask what is fucking good now? Time to go to the bank and take out all of my money, yay! Oh, did I mention I also had three final presentations to do? Damn, all my old buddies visiting me all at once. Surprised the shit out of me.
At times like that I felt like I had no where to go. My back was literally against the wall. Frustration and depression were the only feelings I had. If you read Chapter 6, I did mention Hip-Hop was my only relief. But was music able to calm me down and ease my pain? Of course it did! The Hip-Hop world was my paradise. I blasted that shit till I fell asleep. But when I wake up the problems come back around. Same fucking situation Cham talks about in his song Rain except he relies on liquor to drown his problems away. No wonder I be feeling that song so fucking much.
Should I blame my parents for this pressure? Absolutely not! They tried their best and I understand it perfectly. It's not my dad's fault that his job is unstable and it's a hundred and fifty percent none of my mom's fault that she gets shit pay. The only thing I can blame is the economy and those motherfucking terrorists. I was raised to learn how to take responsibilities. I learned how to cook when I was 9 and started cooking for the family when I was what, 15? And if you didn't read Chapter 2, I started making money when I was around 11 years old. Not any big bucks, but enough for me to never ask my parents for money. Growing up like this isn't easy at all, when you look at me you can never tell what I have been through at all. The only thing that I keep in my mind is that is fucking life, and all I can do is live it the best way I can under these fucking circumstances.
What you see is not what it is. I might look like a happy kid all the time, but there is a lot more to it. All the experiences that I have obtained throughout my years shaped me into the man I am today. The different sides of me are just survival reflexes that comes with those experiences. That doesn't mean I'm fake though. So don't get your shit mixed up. I'm as real as it gets, and I would like to keep it that way. A couple words of advices for the people out there that are living stressful lives, I feel your pain but never give up. When you feeling like the whole world is against you, just keep your head up youngin'.
I was gonna feature Cham's Rain here, but I already did that for the other chapter. But fear not, I got a couple other songs for you today!
Chamillionaire ft. Trae & Slim Thug - My Life
Chamillionaire ft. Tony Heny - Life Goes On
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Chapter 6: Finally... College
Okay, I just took my CPE, finally got this shit over with. But let's all wish me luck in passing this so I won't have to take it again. Anyways, this will be a short chapter because my college life is boring as fuck...
Man, did time fly by fast! I can't believe I am a college boy already... Back being a freshman once again. It was hard to make friends since it's an "in and out" school. That means that people just go to class and leave. There isn't really a campus for people to chill. Well there is a hang out spot in the Atrium building in the ground floor, but that shit is occupied by the black people (not being racist). It is especially packed during club hours on Thursdays from 12:30-2:30. Club hours are the hours where no classes are in session. Even though you do meet new people and make new friends, it's almost impossible to see them around after that semester...
Well, my isolation was mainly due to me majoring in Liberal Arts. There are too many variations between each classes to actually meet and stay with someone you knew from the previous semesters. As I was wandering around in the Liberal Arts program, I was taking all these different classes. Wait, let me rephrase that, "as I was wandering around in the Liberal Arts program, I was taking all these USELESS classes." There, looks about right now. Half of the classes I took were counted as electives which means i wasted mad time... only if I decided my major earlier.
So the first two years were wasted, but fear not! I finally decided to change my major into Hospitality Management. For all of you that think this field deals with hospitals and medical shit, you can never be more wrong. This field deals with hotels, restaurants, bakeries, and tourism. This is an awesome field because you get to learn how to make different kinds of cuisine, bake various baking products, learning about restaurant operations like creating the menu and all the aspects of cost control, hotel operations and different job positions, and tourism (I don't know much about this subfield). So for all those people that are undecided in which major they should study in, why not try Hospitality Management? But let me make one thing clear: this is a people friendly industry, which means you will be interacting with many different kinds of people. If you are short temper or not a people's person, u can try it out maybe it can change you, but otherwise this is not the right major for you!
Let go get this money bosses!
Slim Thug- Boss of All Bosses
Man, did time fly by fast! I can't believe I am a college boy already... Back being a freshman once again. It was hard to make friends since it's an "in and out" school. That means that people just go to class and leave. There isn't really a campus for people to chill. Well there is a hang out spot in the Atrium building in the ground floor, but that shit is occupied by the black people (not being racist). It is especially packed during club hours on Thursdays from 12:30-2:30. Club hours are the hours where no classes are in session. Even though you do meet new people and make new friends, it's almost impossible to see them around after that semester...
Well, my isolation was mainly due to me majoring in Liberal Arts. There are too many variations between each classes to actually meet and stay with someone you knew from the previous semesters. As I was wandering around in the Liberal Arts program, I was taking all these different classes. Wait, let me rephrase that, "as I was wandering around in the Liberal Arts program, I was taking all these USELESS classes." There, looks about right now. Half of the classes I took were counted as electives which means i wasted mad time... only if I decided my major earlier.
So the first two years were wasted, but fear not! I finally decided to change my major into Hospitality Management. For all of you that think this field deals with hospitals and medical shit, you can never be more wrong. This field deals with hotels, restaurants, bakeries, and tourism. This is an awesome field because you get to learn how to make different kinds of cuisine, bake various baking products, learning about restaurant operations like creating the menu and all the aspects of cost control, hotel operations and different job positions, and tourism (I don't know much about this subfield). So for all those people that are undecided in which major they should study in, why not try Hospitality Management? But let me make one thing clear: this is a people friendly industry, which means you will be interacting with many different kinds of people. If you are short temper or not a people's person, u can try it out maybe it can change you, but otherwise this is not the right major for you!
Let go get this money bosses!
Slim Thug- Boss of All Bosses
Monday, March 1, 2010
Chapter 5: Hip-Hop Saved My Life
Okay, so I used to listen to Pop most of the time. You know... Bye Bye Bye... or Oops I Did It Again? Some M2M was good too. But all that changed as I grew older. Life took an unexpected turn. Nothing was going as smooth as I predicted it to be. My fear of not being able to graduate on time, money problems, and family issues popped out like a genie. I was compressing everything inside me so my deeper emotions won't show. But sooner or later I will explode. Listening to music was my only way of escaping reality. Pop wasn't doing that for me though so I had to find another genre... and that was Hip-Hop.
Have you ever heard the song by Lupe Fiasco called Hip Hop Saved My Life? Well mine is different from the story Lupe is telling. He is talking about how Hip-Hop gave him the needs at that moment and made his dream come true, it really is a classic hit. You all should listen to it if you haven't yet. Anyways, Hip-Hop is my only escape... all the rough times that I went through, music was the only medicine. I mean, my homies were always there for me and I feel blessed with that, but sometimes it's a solo thing. You know, something like no one else but you.
It all started on my senior year of high school. A lot of pressures were on me because of Kadish, at that same time I was having problems with my family and money issues... I been listening to Hip-Hop for a while now, but just not as in depth as now. Like back then, I can't tell from artist to artist and what lyricism is. Basically I was like the Jr High school kids now... listening to "ring-tone" rap. "Ring-tone" rap is faggots like Soulja Boy, Hurrican Chris, Gucci Mane just to name a few. That was basically the death of Hip-Hop. They changed what used to be a heart and soul music into this commercialized shit. So when I got into Hip-Hop, I started listening to their lyrics and understood the stories behind it. When I'm stressed out, I would be by myself and blast the music and drift away. I also started writing rhymes. Putting down how I feel on a piece of paper and getting shit out of my mind. This is a healthy hobby. Good Hip-Hop is like another world for me, the only escape from reality. When I listen to the lyrics I can picture myself in their shoes. My life sounds almost like heaven compared to what most of these rappers (excluding ring tone rappers) had to go through.
People keep asking me how am I so calm when I got so much shit on my back, and I would tell them the same thing over and over again. Drift away to the lyrics when listening to music, it is like another world for you to explore. Writing rhymes and listening to Hip-Hop played an important role in my life ever since. This was my only way to cope with stress. I mean everyone have their type of music, it can be Rock, Pop, R&b, Country, Jazz, Blues, etc. it doesn't have to be Hip-Hop. But to me, Hip-Hop holds more meaning. Each song tells a different story. So my Hip-Hop list grew as I listen to more artists. Oh, did I mention that they can be inspiring too? Songs like Dead and Gone by T.I., my favorite song of all time Chamillionaire ft. Scarface & Billy Cook - Rain, Busta Rhymes - Number One, Tupac - Life Goes On, etc.
Just for you all to know, my top 5 Hip-Hip artists are:
1. Chamillionaire
2. Eminem
3. Ludacris
4. Nas
5. Crooked I
Those 5 are one of the top lyricists in the game today, rather they are main stream or not. Sadly Lupe didn't make it to my top 5, but I'm on a look out for his new album L.A.S.E.R.S. Today I bring to you my freestyle.
Hip Hop Saved My Life
From wat i heard im hated
I can give 2 fucks i just dun mind it
all i need is hip hop shit is theraputic
gimme a pen and a pad and i'll give u music
without hip hop i wouldnt know how my life would turn out
i coulda been emo cuz i couldnt take my stress out
hip hop can ease ur pain release ur pressure
write downt he rhymes on a piece of paper
when situations blow, just let it go let it flow
when u rhyming u can forget bout ur role
hip hop is like the flipside of reality
u can rap bout ur life or even tales like fairies
hip hop makes me think right
hip hop keeps me from tearing in the inside
hip hop keeps me away from fights
dam hip hop really saved my life
-JCL
There are a couple songs I want to share with you all today, one of them is none other than Lupe Fiasco - Hip Hop Saved My Life.
Lupe Fiasco Ft. Nikki Jean - Hip Hop Saved My Life
Chamillionaire Ft. Scarfact & Billy Cook - Rain
Crooked I Ft. K-Young, Ya Boy & One 2 - My Story
Have you ever heard the song by Lupe Fiasco called Hip Hop Saved My Life? Well mine is different from the story Lupe is telling. He is talking about how Hip-Hop gave him the needs at that moment and made his dream come true, it really is a classic hit. You all should listen to it if you haven't yet. Anyways, Hip-Hop is my only escape... all the rough times that I went through, music was the only medicine. I mean, my homies were always there for me and I feel blessed with that, but sometimes it's a solo thing. You know, something like no one else but you.
It all started on my senior year of high school. A lot of pressures were on me because of Kadish, at that same time I was having problems with my family and money issues... I been listening to Hip-Hop for a while now, but just not as in depth as now. Like back then, I can't tell from artist to artist and what lyricism is. Basically I was like the Jr High school kids now... listening to "ring-tone" rap. "Ring-tone" rap is faggots like Soulja Boy, Hurrican Chris, Gucci Mane just to name a few. That was basically the death of Hip-Hop. They changed what used to be a heart and soul music into this commercialized shit. So when I got into Hip-Hop, I started listening to their lyrics and understood the stories behind it. When I'm stressed out, I would be by myself and blast the music and drift away. I also started writing rhymes. Putting down how I feel on a piece of paper and getting shit out of my mind. This is a healthy hobby. Good Hip-Hop is like another world for me, the only escape from reality. When I listen to the lyrics I can picture myself in their shoes. My life sounds almost like heaven compared to what most of these rappers (excluding ring tone rappers) had to go through.
People keep asking me how am I so calm when I got so much shit on my back, and I would tell them the same thing over and over again. Drift away to the lyrics when listening to music, it is like another world for you to explore. Writing rhymes and listening to Hip-Hop played an important role in my life ever since. This was my only way to cope with stress. I mean everyone have their type of music, it can be Rock, Pop, R&b, Country, Jazz, Blues, etc. it doesn't have to be Hip-Hop. But to me, Hip-Hop holds more meaning. Each song tells a different story. So my Hip-Hop list grew as I listen to more artists. Oh, did I mention that they can be inspiring too? Songs like Dead and Gone by T.I., my favorite song of all time Chamillionaire ft. Scarface & Billy Cook - Rain, Busta Rhymes - Number One, Tupac - Life Goes On, etc.
Just for you all to know, my top 5 Hip-Hip artists are:
1. Chamillionaire
2. Eminem
3. Ludacris
4. Nas
5. Crooked I
Those 5 are one of the top lyricists in the game today, rather they are main stream or not. Sadly Lupe didn't make it to my top 5, but I'm on a look out for his new album L.A.S.E.R.S. Today I bring to you my freestyle.
Hip Hop Saved My Life
From wat i heard im hated
I can give 2 fucks i just dun mind it
all i need is hip hop shit is theraputic
gimme a pen and a pad and i'll give u music
without hip hop i wouldnt know how my life would turn out
i coulda been emo cuz i couldnt take my stress out
hip hop can ease ur pain release ur pressure
write downt he rhymes on a piece of paper
when situations blow, just let it go let it flow
when u rhyming u can forget bout ur role
hip hop is like the flipside of reality
u can rap bout ur life or even tales like fairies
hip hop makes me think right
hip hop keeps me from tearing in the inside
hip hop keeps me away from fights
dam hip hop really saved my life
-JCL
There are a couple songs I want to share with you all today, one of them is none other than Lupe Fiasco - Hip Hop Saved My Life.
Lupe Fiasco Ft. Nikki Jean - Hip Hop Saved My Life
Chamillionaire Ft. Scarfact & Billy Cook - Rain
Crooked I Ft. K-Young, Ya Boy & One 2 - My Story
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