So when you are really upset/sad/depressed what is your therapy? Some people smoke; some people sleep; some people eat; some people shop. I usually blast my music and drift away... to another zone; write rhymes; and workout. So the first time she said goodbye to me, I did all of the above. That did put me to depression for a bit though. Now on the second time around, what should I do?
After half a year of avoiding/ignoring me, she finally hit me up. I was very excited but yet nervous at the same time. You know, like the first day of your new job. It has been so long since we last spoke, I didn't know what to say. So I gave her the usual greeting phrases like "how have you been? How is everything?" She answered, "good." Cold and casual. But I was cool with that. Little did I know what followed.
After the short greetings the real show started. So here we are, back to square one once again. Apparently this time it really is goodbye, strangers again. She needed a closure so she could move on with her life. Her final words to me were "please delete everything." I guess this is what's best for her... and I respect that. I have no other choice but to let her go... What ever makes her more comfortable.
So she says in time my memories of her will be fading away if not already gone. I don't believe that. All the physical evidences might be gone, but the impact it had on my life will forever remain. I may not have the best memory, but what we have been through were already tatted into my brain and heart. I will let her go, but I will also be holding on. Letting her go by leaving her alone. She keeps on doing her own thing and I will still be me. Holding on to the memories that we had and the experiences that we been through. I will not forget you, that is a promise that I will keep.
I am sorry, truly and sincerely, for all the pain and trouble that I have caused you. Now go on and live your life to the fullest, exactly what you deserve. I wish nothing but the best for you and what is ahead of you. I will always be here for you when you need a friend. With that said, my status that had been up for half a year can now rest in peace.
I came across this young talent from a friend. He did a cover for B.O.B's Nothin' On You and called it Nothin' On Me featuring JVoQualZ (pronounced as J vocals). When I looked deeper into this artist, I found another song that is really interesting. Here it is:
Pmac - Let It Go
Showing posts with label Back Against the Wall. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Back Against the Wall. Show all posts
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Chapter 13: Distance
Hmmm... I had to pick one, the ties of a friendship or the love for the significant other? Whatever choice I make will cross the thin line between love and hate. So I picked the ties of a friendship over the love for a significant other. The moment I picked that, I knew it would have caused some problems between us. But never did I thought she would go this far...
Have any of you lost someone precious to you? Not in terms of death, but just slowly distancing themselves away from you. Little by little. Bit by bit. Doesn't that gradually eats you up? Unfortunately all these things happened to me in the start of 2011. Yay, what a great way to start a new year. It's hard to keep your composure when things/people around you are slowly fading into the shadow.
It really sucks to have a precious friend to tell you they will stop talking to you. The immediate reaction was my speechlessness. Then I just started working out until I can't move anymore... bad hobby of mine (whenever there is a stressful situation, I tend to workout to release the stress). Keeps you thinking about questions such as: when will we be back to normal again? or is this the end? or what can I do to make you come back? That last question brings me back to the freestyle I did a while back, Come Back. That was dedicated to this very precious friend wishing she could come back. Lost, confused, discombobulated were the only feelings I had at that moment. Should I move on and get over it or should I hold on to something that might have already been gone?
I am a Leo, so obviously I am a stubborn dude. So I picked holding on, not letting any chance go away. When I happened to see her again, avoidance was her first reaction. Ignoring me was the second reaction. But I continued to say "hi" regardless. In this kind of situation, I have to put my pride aside and become shameless. Oh, only if she knew how much I can do for her to save the friendship. The more I think about it, the more complicated the situation gets. There was nothing I could do anyways. I said all I could say, did what I could but nothing's changed. What I will still do is continue being me! Maybe one day... some day... we can be friends again. I am sure we will meet again in the long journey call life.
On the side note: Writing this blog entry was EXTREMELY challenging. I had to think about how to explain the situation without giving out too much details. But at the same time, give enough details so the readers can understand what is going on.
Anyways, today I bring to you an old but meaningful song by Far East Movement. Today, you might know them by their hits "Like a G6" or "Rocketeer." But to be honest, they gave into the mainstream demands like the rest of the sell-outs... no disrespect to them. I actually respect them a lot for being a successful Asian Hip-Hop group in U.S. which is RARE. Only second to Jin the MC. But their old works are far better... just saying.
Far East Movement ft. Lil Rob & Baby Bash - You've Got a Friend
Have any of you lost someone precious to you? Not in terms of death, but just slowly distancing themselves away from you. Little by little. Bit by bit. Doesn't that gradually eats you up? Unfortunately all these things happened to me in the start of 2011. Yay, what a great way to start a new year. It's hard to keep your composure when things/people around you are slowly fading into the shadow.
It really sucks to have a precious friend to tell you they will stop talking to you. The immediate reaction was my speechlessness. Then I just started working out until I can't move anymore... bad hobby of mine (whenever there is a stressful situation, I tend to workout to release the stress). Keeps you thinking about questions such as: when will we be back to normal again? or is this the end? or what can I do to make you come back? That last question brings me back to the freestyle I did a while back, Come Back. That was dedicated to this very precious friend wishing she could come back. Lost, confused, discombobulated were the only feelings I had at that moment. Should I move on and get over it or should I hold on to something that might have already been gone?
I am a Leo, so obviously I am a stubborn dude. So I picked holding on, not letting any chance go away. When I happened to see her again, avoidance was her first reaction. Ignoring me was the second reaction. But I continued to say "hi" regardless. In this kind of situation, I have to put my pride aside and become shameless. Oh, only if she knew how much I can do for her to save the friendship. The more I think about it, the more complicated the situation gets. There was nothing I could do anyways. I said all I could say, did what I could but nothing's changed. What I will still do is continue being me! Maybe one day... some day... we can be friends again. I am sure we will meet again in the long journey call life.
On the side note: Writing this blog entry was EXTREMELY challenging. I had to think about how to explain the situation without giving out too much details. But at the same time, give enough details so the readers can understand what is going on.
Anyways, today I bring to you an old but meaningful song by Far East Movement. Today, you might know them by their hits "Like a G6" or "Rocketeer." But to be honest, they gave into the mainstream demands like the rest of the sell-outs... no disrespect to them. I actually respect them a lot for being a successful Asian Hip-Hop group in U.S. which is RARE. Only second to Jin the MC. But their old works are far better... just saying.
Far East Movement ft. Lil Rob & Baby Bash - You've Got a Friend
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Chapter 12: Above and Beyond
As I left off from last time (Chapter 11: Passion for the Kitchen), I was offered many volunteering opportunities. In the past, I would just let it go by me. But not this time. My chef volunteered me to many and I volunteered myself to a few. One of the most memorable experiences was the CHIPS Soup Kitchen (it is a non-profit organization that serves limited meals daily, offers shelter, and have clothing drives). It was the day before Christmas Eve, December 23, 2010. This was the holiday of giving and celebrating, knowing that I did my part to help the less fortunate feels great! If you have a chance to help the less fortunate, please do so!
That day, I had to be up at 4 A.M. because I was told I have to be there by 5. When I reached the destination I was by myself in this freezing weather, locked outside. After I waited for about half an hour, my friend called and asked if I wanted to stay inside her building for the time being. I accepted the offer. When they were ready, we set out to the soup kitchen once again. This time there were a few more volunteers there. We got in and started working right away. Long story short, after six hours of cooking we were finally ready for service at noon. Since the space inside is limited, there was a line outside. We decided to bring everyone outside soup first to keep them warm. That was when I realized how ungrateful some people are.
Some of the people that did not receive their soups yet were screaming out profanities and calling us names, others that already got their share of the soup wanted seconds and did not hesitate to grab it from the tray. The only thing that was preventing them from bum-rushing in was the long time war veterans that were with us. Although there were a few rude people, but a lot of them were very thankful. All that hard work that we have done was well rewarded by their warm smiles. It was also a splendid experience for me to work in another kitchen besides my own or the school's and I had a chance to work with great people, my chefs and my colleagues. It was a very fun and precious moment.
So that was my little story volunteering story, why did I title this post "Above and Beyond?"
Well I realized that in order to have a clearer path for your future, you have to put yourself out there. Volunteering is one of the more stronger activities you can do to achieve so. You can't just be like 'oh I did my part' and that's that. You have to go above and beyond the current requirements to make something out of anything these days.
"Being enlightened is no longer enough, you must apply. Being willingness is no longer needed, you must do." -Royce da 5'9
This quote from Royce (from the intro of his song 'Shake This') puts it very nicely and clearly. Royce is a very talented hip hop artist. Just saying...
So might as well end this post with that said song:
Royce Da 5'9 - Shake This
That day, I had to be up at 4 A.M. because I was told I have to be there by 5. When I reached the destination I was by myself in this freezing weather, locked outside. After I waited for about half an hour, my friend called and asked if I wanted to stay inside her building for the time being. I accepted the offer. When they were ready, we set out to the soup kitchen once again. This time there were a few more volunteers there. We got in and started working right away. Long story short, after six hours of cooking we were finally ready for service at noon. Since the space inside is limited, there was a line outside. We decided to bring everyone outside soup first to keep them warm. That was when I realized how ungrateful some people are.
Some of the people that did not receive their soups yet were screaming out profanities and calling us names, others that already got their share of the soup wanted seconds and did not hesitate to grab it from the tray. The only thing that was preventing them from bum-rushing in was the long time war veterans that were with us. Although there were a few rude people, but a lot of them were very thankful. All that hard work that we have done was well rewarded by their warm smiles. It was also a splendid experience for me to work in another kitchen besides my own or the school's and I had a chance to work with great people, my chefs and my colleagues. It was a very fun and precious moment.
So that was my little story volunteering story, why did I title this post "Above and Beyond?"
Well I realized that in order to have a clearer path for your future, you have to put yourself out there. Volunteering is one of the more stronger activities you can do to achieve so. You can't just be like 'oh I did my part' and that's that. You have to go above and beyond the current requirements to make something out of anything these days.
"Being enlightened is no longer enough, you must apply. Being willingness is no longer needed, you must do." -Royce da 5'9
This quote from Royce (from the intro of his song 'Shake This') puts it very nicely and clearly. Royce is a very talented hip hop artist. Just saying...
So might as well end this post with that said song:
Royce Da 5'9 - Shake This
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Life is...
Fucking ridiculous...
Too unfair...
Overwhelming...
Discriminating...
Harsh...
A broken road...
Something I must conquer... try, at the very least...
Too unfair...
Overwhelming...
Discriminating...
Harsh...
A broken road...
Something I must conquer... try, at the very least...
Friday, January 21, 2011
Chapter 11: Passion for the Kitchen
I remember the first day of Culinary I (Chapter 10: 2010), I had to say my name and my intentions of this major as an icebreaker. With no hesitation, I said to become a General Manager of a hotel was my long term goal. But on the first day of Culinary II I had to do the same thing (it was the same Chef, therefore same procedures for the first day) and I replied with either to become a Chef or a General Manager. At that point, my thoughts on my career were uncertain. Then this quote came into my mind, "If it is something you like and can make a career our of it, then go for it."
I finally found that "something" when I enrolled in Culinary II. I had a chance to work in the hotel. But that was not where I belong. The work is easy and I am actually good with people, but I just cannot imagine my entire life doing that. Since Culinary I, my curiousity in gastronomy only grew stronger. Then Culinary II came, and that was a complete different ball game. There was a Dining Room class going on at the same time, and we do production for that class. There are actual guests attending the dining room. So our food are being critiqued. It is the times where our techniques truely shines, any flaws will be noticed immediately. Major concentration is crucial! Never in my life would I have thought my passion will be in the kitchen. Back in Dewey I had a chance to take the culinary classes but I dropped it after first cycle, and now it came right back at me.
Another interesting class was Dining Room (I had to take that class as well). At first, the professor was like a monster. But as time went by I started to like her, a lot. I guess we met up to her expectations and standards so everything went easy. This class was still a hassle though. Memorizing the descriptions and trigger ingredients for each dish on the menu was insane, especially when I was not assigned as the server but my luck brought me to that position when someone is absent (have to expect the unexpected). Have to know and sell the wine and desserts were the worse. But I grew to fall in love with this class. I enjoyed every minute of it and the last day was hard to say goodbye.
And last but not least, the baking class. Such a discouraging class. When I first stepped into the bake shop I enjoyed it a lot. Or so I thought, but I guess it was only because of the super nice and chill professor. Not so lucky this semester. The professor for Baking II was not the worse and I like him and all, but working with him was rather difficult. His style is very unique. The excitement that got my adrenaline rushing at first was no longer there. Trying to get a good grade was the only thing on my mind. I did leave that class with a few new techniques and recipes though. I guess that was all that mattered. I did enjoy the times when he was not yelling at me though. Overall it was a new experience and I COULD say it was kind of a blessing to have worked with him.
It was a peaceful but yet intriguing semester. I definitely learned a lot. Oh right, the most amazing thing about this semester was that I put myself out there. There were many volunteering opportunities and I did not just look past them. But until next time! Enjoy!
Fabolous ft. Jeremih - Its My Time
I finally found that "something" when I enrolled in Culinary II. I had a chance to work in the hotel. But that was not where I belong. The work is easy and I am actually good with people, but I just cannot imagine my entire life doing that. Since Culinary I, my curiousity in gastronomy only grew stronger. Then Culinary II came, and that was a complete different ball game. There was a Dining Room class going on at the same time, and we do production for that class. There are actual guests attending the dining room. So our food are being critiqued. It is the times where our techniques truely shines, any flaws will be noticed immediately. Major concentration is crucial! Never in my life would I have thought my passion will be in the kitchen. Back in Dewey I had a chance to take the culinary classes but I dropped it after first cycle, and now it came right back at me.
Another interesting class was Dining Room (I had to take that class as well). At first, the professor was like a monster. But as time went by I started to like her, a lot. I guess we met up to her expectations and standards so everything went easy. This class was still a hassle though. Memorizing the descriptions and trigger ingredients for each dish on the menu was insane, especially when I was not assigned as the server but my luck brought me to that position when someone is absent (have to expect the unexpected). Have to know and sell the wine and desserts were the worse. But I grew to fall in love with this class. I enjoyed every minute of it and the last day was hard to say goodbye.
And last but not least, the baking class. Such a discouraging class. When I first stepped into the bake shop I enjoyed it a lot. Or so I thought, but I guess it was only because of the super nice and chill professor. Not so lucky this semester. The professor for Baking II was not the worse and I like him and all, but working with him was rather difficult. His style is very unique. The excitement that got my adrenaline rushing at first was no longer there. Trying to get a good grade was the only thing on my mind. I did leave that class with a few new techniques and recipes though. I guess that was all that mattered. I did enjoy the times when he was not yelling at me though. Overall it was a new experience and I COULD say it was kind of a blessing to have worked with him.
It was a peaceful but yet intriguing semester. I definitely learned a lot. Oh right, the most amazing thing about this semester was that I put myself out there. There were many volunteering opportunities and I did not just look past them. But until next time! Enjoy!
Fabolous ft. Jeremih - Its My Time
Monday, June 14, 2010
Chapter 10: 2010
2010 is going to be a complete new start for me, it is the beginning of helping with the rent and the bills. Haha, that means I will have to limit my budgets from now on. Anyways, I started this new decade with the homies at Blue Ocean. My first time in a bar for a long time. No, I usually do not drink, but no school, no work, new year, so why not right? It is once a long time anyways. I had to admit, it was a fun night. Me and miss Kevin were picking on these two kids all night. We killed them. Too bad it was in the lounge, there was no kareoke. So it was the time for count down, 10...9...8... 5...4...3...2...1... POP THAT CHAMPAGNE, 2010 IS HERE!
Brand new year, brand new start. What was my New Year's resolution? I think it was to stay on my grind. Haha, typical JCL. And soon after, the new semester started. I was very excited because I will be taking Culinary and Baking classes. It is going to be something completely new. I was also nervous because I do not know which professor I will have or any of the people that will be in my classes.
I do not have high hopes on this semester because I will be working my regular job and doing my internship in Holiday Inn as well. I really have to be in my tip top shape to even pass with a decent grade. Anyways, the first day turned out to be better than I expected. There were no one I know, well except for JLo. She was in my class the previous semester, but we did not talk much. The first thing the Chef made us do was to repeat the names of the people before you and their career goals. It was awkward... but I got over it. The Chef seems to be a difficult professor though, but that was just from my first impression since he picked on me a lot that first day! I had a feeling this was going to be a bad class, but I was wrong.
So my teammate for that first class was K from the Hood (note that I only use nicknames in my blog entries, besides Gen [homeboy till I die] and the people that are not really relevant to me). From the first impression she was a cool and chill person, I helped her out and she helped me out so it was nice. As for baking, we learned the 12 steps of baking and we baked bread the first day! That was also my first time baking. It looked complicated, but it was actually really fun and easy! I enjoyed baking class much more than culinary class in the first couple weeks. But as the semester progresses on, I fell in love with cooking.
The reason why I did not like the culinary class as much was because the first few weeks all we did were practicing our cuts. We did not actually start cooking until a later on. And when we did started cooking the same few people (including me) were doing the dishes every class. But as time passed I enjoyed doing dishes more than I thought. It is either I got used doing dishes or maybe I like the people that I work with in the dish washing station.
As for baking, it was always enjoyable. I got my homie G Money Hypa here and JZH (I do not have any nickname for her so I will use her initials). The Chef is a really nice and great chef! He is funny and teaches in a way that is easy to understand. His demonstrations were really clear. From day one, I had a feeling that I would enjoy this class and I did!
2010 had a good start, well besides the paying rent and bills part. OH WAIT, I almost forgot to mention about my Child Psychology class. My professor was the worse... just from the first day I felt like dropping the class because of his teaching style. With all due respect, I am pretty sure he is a great psychologist, but the way he teaches just does not work for me. Hardcore reading of the textbook was never my way of learning, and he does NOT go over much of the stuff. Okay, I am done venting. Peace!
Have you ever had the feeling that the goal is so close, almost like a breath away, but yet it is so far? I have, plenty of times. Just a random rhetorical question, haha.
Statik Selektah ft. Bun B, Wale, & Colin Munroe - So Close So Far
Brand new year, brand new start. What was my New Year's resolution? I think it was to stay on my grind. Haha, typical JCL. And soon after, the new semester started. I was very excited because I will be taking Culinary and Baking classes. It is going to be something completely new. I was also nervous because I do not know which professor I will have or any of the people that will be in my classes.
I do not have high hopes on this semester because I will be working my regular job and doing my internship in Holiday Inn as well. I really have to be in my tip top shape to even pass with a decent grade. Anyways, the first day turned out to be better than I expected. There were no one I know, well except for JLo. She was in my class the previous semester, but we did not talk much. The first thing the Chef made us do was to repeat the names of the people before you and their career goals. It was awkward... but I got over it. The Chef seems to be a difficult professor though, but that was just from my first impression since he picked on me a lot that first day! I had a feeling this was going to be a bad class, but I was wrong.
So my teammate for that first class was K from the Hood (note that I only use nicknames in my blog entries, besides Gen [homeboy till I die] and the people that are not really relevant to me). From the first impression she was a cool and chill person, I helped her out and she helped me out so it was nice. As for baking, we learned the 12 steps of baking and we baked bread the first day! That was also my first time baking. It looked complicated, but it was actually really fun and easy! I enjoyed baking class much more than culinary class in the first couple weeks. But as the semester progresses on, I fell in love with cooking.
The reason why I did not like the culinary class as much was because the first few weeks all we did were practicing our cuts. We did not actually start cooking until a later on. And when we did started cooking the same few people (including me) were doing the dishes every class. But as time passed I enjoyed doing dishes more than I thought. It is either I got used doing dishes or maybe I like the people that I work with in the dish washing station.
As for baking, it was always enjoyable. I got my homie G Money Hypa here and JZH (I do not have any nickname for her so I will use her initials). The Chef is a really nice and great chef! He is funny and teaches in a way that is easy to understand. His demonstrations were really clear. From day one, I had a feeling that I would enjoy this class and I did!
2010 had a good start, well besides the paying rent and bills part. OH WAIT, I almost forgot to mention about my Child Psychology class. My professor was the worse... just from the first day I felt like dropping the class because of his teaching style. With all due respect, I am pretty sure he is a great psychologist, but the way he teaches just does not work for me. Hardcore reading of the textbook was never my way of learning, and he does NOT go over much of the stuff. Okay, I am done venting. Peace!
Have you ever had the feeling that the goal is so close, almost like a breath away, but yet it is so far? I have, plenty of times. Just a random rhetorical question, haha.
Statik Selektah ft. Bun B, Wale, & Colin Munroe - So Close So Far
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Chapter 9: Break Free
It's been a while since I updated my blog... there were just too much stuff going on in my life... but now I got a lot of things cleared up so here is a new chapter.
The semester/year was finally over, many things in my life were cleared up. It was an unexpected year. One of the most tragic events in my life happened that year. R.I.P. to my grandma. There were bad things, but certainly there will be some positive occurrences. I guess all things happen in order to balance out the other episodes in one's life. 2009 marked a new beginning in my life. It was the first semester where I declared my major in Hospitality Management. It was also the first time in my educational life that I was happy to see the results of my hard work... and that was my 4.0 GPA. My hard work really did paid off! So those were my hight lights of the year, everything else were just stressful and messed up. I will spend this post talking about the hight lights of my 2009. Before I begin, allow me to advice you the insight that I gained...
One important lesson I learned that year was to cherish the things I have. So let me tell you all this, stop and smell the roses! Appreciate everything and everyone around you! No one can tell what will happen in the future, and when you finally realize something is going on, it will be too late.
When that stressing semester was finally over, I was proud and relieved. I was proud that I got all A's that semester and relieved that it was finally over. I was a little sad that I had to say goodbye to a lot of the classmates that I just got to know though. But then again, the friendship that developed was not that strong. And so the winter break came. Thank god for this winter break, my only time to rejuvenate myself. I spent my Thanksgiving with my family as usual. That black Friday my friends and I continued our tradition, well not the usual tradition this year though. We usually go camp out in an electronic store, but this year we went early in the morning and just went shopping instead. That ended up nicely because I copped some nice clothes and my fossil watch =D. Afterwards, we went to eat a big meal.
I forgot what I did for Christmas, all I remember was that it was very peaceful. Just what I needed, peace at last! And to top things off, I went to a snowboarding trip at Jack Frost, Pennsylvania wit the Twins, R00ster, and a couple of other people. It was my first time snowboarding, it was a painful experience but nonetheless very fun. I fell on my butt so many times, I was barely able to sit when I got back. But within a couple more tries, I almost perfected turning and breaking. On the other hand, my dude R00ster was not on top of his game. I conquered green and some blue. I remember on one of the blue's there was a super steep slope, I went down too fast and could not break that fast so I ended up falling and rolled down horizontally with both of my feet still attached to the snowboard. Man, was that painful!
Snowboarding is so fun! I will definitely go back, but now I have to wait for the season to start again. And to conclude my 2009, I found an internship in Holiday Inn when I visited it for my presentation. This marked the beginning of my career in Hospitality Management. Although internship is not needed yet, but I m preparing myself for what to come in the future. I been told that I am an ambitious person, and I replied you need ambition to be successful. This is my motto, but I will try not to overwhelm myself with ambition. We all know too much of something is bad.
Dear grandma, watch me shine.
Bobby Ray - Don't Let Me Fall
The semester/year was finally over, many things in my life were cleared up. It was an unexpected year. One of the most tragic events in my life happened that year. R.I.P. to my grandma. There were bad things, but certainly there will be some positive occurrences. I guess all things happen in order to balance out the other episodes in one's life. 2009 marked a new beginning in my life. It was the first semester where I declared my major in Hospitality Management. It was also the first time in my educational life that I was happy to see the results of my hard work... and that was my 4.0 GPA. My hard work really did paid off! So those were my hight lights of the year, everything else were just stressful and messed up. I will spend this post talking about the hight lights of my 2009. Before I begin, allow me to advice you the insight that I gained...
One important lesson I learned that year was to cherish the things I have. So let me tell you all this, stop and smell the roses! Appreciate everything and everyone around you! No one can tell what will happen in the future, and when you finally realize something is going on, it will be too late.
When that stressing semester was finally over, I was proud and relieved. I was proud that I got all A's that semester and relieved that it was finally over. I was a little sad that I had to say goodbye to a lot of the classmates that I just got to know though. But then again, the friendship that developed was not that strong. And so the winter break came. Thank god for this winter break, my only time to rejuvenate myself. I spent my Thanksgiving with my family as usual. That black Friday my friends and I continued our tradition, well not the usual tradition this year though. We usually go camp out in an electronic store, but this year we went early in the morning and just went shopping instead. That ended up nicely because I copped some nice clothes and my fossil watch =D. Afterwards, we went to eat a big meal.
I forgot what I did for Christmas, all I remember was that it was very peaceful. Just what I needed, peace at last! And to top things off, I went to a snowboarding trip at Jack Frost, Pennsylvania wit the Twins, R00ster, and a couple of other people. It was my first time snowboarding, it was a painful experience but nonetheless very fun. I fell on my butt so many times, I was barely able to sit when I got back. But within a couple more tries, I almost perfected turning and breaking. On the other hand, my dude R00ster was not on top of his game. I conquered green and some blue. I remember on one of the blue's there was a super steep slope, I went down too fast and could not break that fast so I ended up falling and rolled down horizontally with both of my feet still attached to the snowboard. Man, was that painful!
Snowboarding is so fun! I will definitely go back, but now I have to wait for the season to start again. And to conclude my 2009, I found an internship in Holiday Inn when I visited it for my presentation. This marked the beginning of my career in Hospitality Management. Although internship is not needed yet, but I m preparing myself for what to come in the future. I been told that I am an ambitious person, and I replied you need ambition to be successful. This is my motto, but I will try not to overwhelm myself with ambition. We all know too much of something is bad.
Dear grandma, watch me shine.
Bobby Ray - Don't Let Me Fall
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Chapter 8: Shit Goes On
Just when I thought everything can't possibly get any worse... reality hits even harder...
Date: December 4, 2009
Setting: Times Square
Event: Chilling with D Square
What happened: Got a text from my sister.
Text description: Grandma in China passed away.
That moment's exact reaction: At a loss of words and dumbfounded
That was probably the worse day of my life. How the fuck am I going to deal with all these shit happening at the same time? What am I suppose to do? That night was suppose to be the relaxing night but that text message just fucked it all up. At that point my mind just went blank... I was just sitting there waiting for my friend to finish what he was doing. As he approached me, I was already drifted to another world. It was the third or fourth time he called my name before I came back to reality. I looked dumbfounded, the look in my eyes had no concentration. I wasn't focusing on anything in particular... I couldn't, I was just looking all over trying to take my mind off the subject matter.
D Square noticed me acting weird as well, so he asked me what is wrong. So I told him what happened... my delayed reaction finally came. I was at the brink of breaking down. My eyes started to get watery. But I stayed strong, trying to hold it back. I am in Times Square after all... there were hundreds of people around me. I got to have self control, I kept telling myself that over and over again. And after a few minutes I succeeded in holding back my cry. With that said, we continued our journey in search of a place to eat. As we wandered around, we remembered the supposedly "best" hallah food is near here so we went and look for it. After I asked my friends where it was, that bitchass gave me different answers every time. So D Square called up his sister and we found the spot. After waiting on that long ass line in the cold, we finally got our food. Ate and called it a day. It was about 11 PM or something. I bought an extra chicken and lamb over rice for my sister (yea I am a good bro =D) and went home.
When I got home, there was this depressing atmosphere in the house... everyone was so quiet. I just went on computer and played some WarCraft (typical Asian) to see if I can release some stress. Shit didn't help though. I eventually gave in to my emotional/sensitive side. Suddenly a drop of tear fell on the floor. I wiped my face then ran into the bathroom. Turned on the facet and cried to the fullest. That was the first time I cried so hard since... like forever... too long to remember. She was in China, I was in New York... I couldn't even see her for the last time. This will remain as a flaw in my heart forever.
I don't believe in God... but I was still praying for her to be better on the other side. Even though you are gone physically, you will forever remain in my heart. You will forever be part of my memories. I know you don't want to see me like this so I will get my act together and get back on my grind. I know you will be watching my back. R.I.P. grandma.
Smilez & Southstar - Now That You're Gone
Chamillionaire - Won't Let You Down
Date: December 4, 2009
Setting: Times Square
Event: Chilling with D Square
What happened: Got a text from my sister.
Text description: Grandma in China passed away.
That moment's exact reaction: At a loss of words and dumbfounded
That was probably the worse day of my life. How the fuck am I going to deal with all these shit happening at the same time? What am I suppose to do? That night was suppose to be the relaxing night but that text message just fucked it all up. At that point my mind just went blank... I was just sitting there waiting for my friend to finish what he was doing. As he approached me, I was already drifted to another world. It was the third or fourth time he called my name before I came back to reality. I looked dumbfounded, the look in my eyes had no concentration. I wasn't focusing on anything in particular... I couldn't, I was just looking all over trying to take my mind off the subject matter.
D Square noticed me acting weird as well, so he asked me what is wrong. So I told him what happened... my delayed reaction finally came. I was at the brink of breaking down. My eyes started to get watery. But I stayed strong, trying to hold it back. I am in Times Square after all... there were hundreds of people around me. I got to have self control, I kept telling myself that over and over again. And after a few minutes I succeeded in holding back my cry. With that said, we continued our journey in search of a place to eat. As we wandered around, we remembered the supposedly "best" hallah food is near here so we went and look for it. After I asked my friends where it was, that bitchass gave me different answers every time. So D Square called up his sister and we found the spot. After waiting on that long ass line in the cold, we finally got our food. Ate and called it a day. It was about 11 PM or something. I bought an extra chicken and lamb over rice for my sister (yea I am a good bro =D) and went home.
When I got home, there was this depressing atmosphere in the house... everyone was so quiet. I just went on computer and played some WarCraft (typical Asian) to see if I can release some stress. Shit didn't help though. I eventually gave in to my emotional/sensitive side. Suddenly a drop of tear fell on the floor. I wiped my face then ran into the bathroom. Turned on the facet and cried to the fullest. That was the first time I cried so hard since... like forever... too long to remember. She was in China, I was in New York... I couldn't even see her for the last time. This will remain as a flaw in my heart forever.
I don't believe in God... but I was still praying for her to be better on the other side. Even though you are gone physically, you will forever remain in my heart. You will forever be part of my memories. I know you don't want to see me like this so I will get my act together and get back on my grind. I know you will be watching my back. R.I.P. grandma.
Smilez & Southstar - Now That You're Gone
Chamillionaire - Won't Let You Down
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Chapter 7: Back Against the Wall
Hmmm... after so many chapters, there is finally a self title chapter name, Back Against the Wall. Why did i chose this title for my blog entries? Well, for one, it sounded good. And two, sometimes that's exactly how I feel. Everything, all the bad shit that you never thought would happen, happened to me all at once. They were rushing at me like there is no tomorrow. It's like school wasn't stressful enough some family issues comes up. Great, perfect timing. Its like stress and problems are best buddies, they always come along side each other.
Any of this shit every happened to any of you before? Three five page papers due the same week if not the same day. Then three more tests on the same day, total up to five tests that very week. Fuck I think I got myself a dilemma, which subject should I start studying first? You already know an all nighter is coming up from that shit. Hold up more good stuff is coming. Rent was due on the first and that day was already the third. May I ask what is fucking good now? Time to go to the bank and take out all of my money, yay! Oh, did I mention I also had three final presentations to do? Damn, all my old buddies visiting me all at once. Surprised the shit out of me.
At times like that I felt like I had no where to go. My back was literally against the wall. Frustration and depression were the only feelings I had. If you read Chapter 6, I did mention Hip-Hop was my only relief. But was music able to calm me down and ease my pain? Of course it did! The Hip-Hop world was my paradise. I blasted that shit till I fell asleep. But when I wake up the problems come back around. Same fucking situation Cham talks about in his song Rain except he relies on liquor to drown his problems away. No wonder I be feeling that song so fucking much.
Should I blame my parents for this pressure? Absolutely not! They tried their best and I understand it perfectly. It's not my dad's fault that his job is unstable and it's a hundred and fifty percent none of my mom's fault that she gets shit pay. The only thing I can blame is the economy and those motherfucking terrorists. I was raised to learn how to take responsibilities. I learned how to cook when I was 9 and started cooking for the family when I was what, 15? And if you didn't read Chapter 2, I started making money when I was around 11 years old. Not any big bucks, but enough for me to never ask my parents for money. Growing up like this isn't easy at all, when you look at me you can never tell what I have been through at all. The only thing that I keep in my mind is that is fucking life, and all I can do is live it the best way I can under these fucking circumstances.
What you see is not what it is. I might look like a happy kid all the time, but there is a lot more to it. All the experiences that I have obtained throughout my years shaped me into the man I am today. The different sides of me are just survival reflexes that comes with those experiences. That doesn't mean I'm fake though. So don't get your shit mixed up. I'm as real as it gets, and I would like to keep it that way. A couple words of advices for the people out there that are living stressful lives, I feel your pain but never give up. When you feeling like the whole world is against you, just keep your head up youngin'.
I was gonna feature Cham's Rain here, but I already did that for the other chapter. But fear not, I got a couple other songs for you today!
Chamillionaire ft. Trae & Slim Thug - My Life
Chamillionaire ft. Tony Heny - Life Goes On
Any of this shit every happened to any of you before? Three five page papers due the same week if not the same day. Then three more tests on the same day, total up to five tests that very week. Fuck I think I got myself a dilemma, which subject should I start studying first? You already know an all nighter is coming up from that shit. Hold up more good stuff is coming. Rent was due on the first and that day was already the third. May I ask what is fucking good now? Time to go to the bank and take out all of my money, yay! Oh, did I mention I also had three final presentations to do? Damn, all my old buddies visiting me all at once. Surprised the shit out of me.
At times like that I felt like I had no where to go. My back was literally against the wall. Frustration and depression were the only feelings I had. If you read Chapter 6, I did mention Hip-Hop was my only relief. But was music able to calm me down and ease my pain? Of course it did! The Hip-Hop world was my paradise. I blasted that shit till I fell asleep. But when I wake up the problems come back around. Same fucking situation Cham talks about in his song Rain except he relies on liquor to drown his problems away. No wonder I be feeling that song so fucking much.
Should I blame my parents for this pressure? Absolutely not! They tried their best and I understand it perfectly. It's not my dad's fault that his job is unstable and it's a hundred and fifty percent none of my mom's fault that she gets shit pay. The only thing I can blame is the economy and those motherfucking terrorists. I was raised to learn how to take responsibilities. I learned how to cook when I was 9 and started cooking for the family when I was what, 15? And if you didn't read Chapter 2, I started making money when I was around 11 years old. Not any big bucks, but enough for me to never ask my parents for money. Growing up like this isn't easy at all, when you look at me you can never tell what I have been through at all. The only thing that I keep in my mind is that is fucking life, and all I can do is live it the best way I can under these fucking circumstances.
What you see is not what it is. I might look like a happy kid all the time, but there is a lot more to it. All the experiences that I have obtained throughout my years shaped me into the man I am today. The different sides of me are just survival reflexes that comes with those experiences. That doesn't mean I'm fake though. So don't get your shit mixed up. I'm as real as it gets, and I would like to keep it that way. A couple words of advices for the people out there that are living stressful lives, I feel your pain but never give up. When you feeling like the whole world is against you, just keep your head up youngin'.
I was gonna feature Cham's Rain here, but I already did that for the other chapter. But fear not, I got a couple other songs for you today!
Chamillionaire ft. Trae & Slim Thug - My Life
Chamillionaire ft. Tony Heny - Life Goes On
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Chapter 6: Finally... College
Okay, I just took my CPE, finally got this shit over with. But let's all wish me luck in passing this so I won't have to take it again. Anyways, this will be a short chapter because my college life is boring as fuck...
Man, did time fly by fast! I can't believe I am a college boy already... Back being a freshman once again. It was hard to make friends since it's an "in and out" school. That means that people just go to class and leave. There isn't really a campus for people to chill. Well there is a hang out spot in the Atrium building in the ground floor, but that shit is occupied by the black people (not being racist). It is especially packed during club hours on Thursdays from 12:30-2:30. Club hours are the hours where no classes are in session. Even though you do meet new people and make new friends, it's almost impossible to see them around after that semester...
Well, my isolation was mainly due to me majoring in Liberal Arts. There are too many variations between each classes to actually meet and stay with someone you knew from the previous semesters. As I was wandering around in the Liberal Arts program, I was taking all these different classes. Wait, let me rephrase that, "as I was wandering around in the Liberal Arts program, I was taking all these USELESS classes." There, looks about right now. Half of the classes I took were counted as electives which means i wasted mad time... only if I decided my major earlier.
So the first two years were wasted, but fear not! I finally decided to change my major into Hospitality Management. For all of you that think this field deals with hospitals and medical shit, you can never be more wrong. This field deals with hotels, restaurants, bakeries, and tourism. This is an awesome field because you get to learn how to make different kinds of cuisine, bake various baking products, learning about restaurant operations like creating the menu and all the aspects of cost control, hotel operations and different job positions, and tourism (I don't know much about this subfield). So for all those people that are undecided in which major they should study in, why not try Hospitality Management? But let me make one thing clear: this is a people friendly industry, which means you will be interacting with many different kinds of people. If you are short temper or not a people's person, u can try it out maybe it can change you, but otherwise this is not the right major for you!
Let go get this money bosses!
Slim Thug- Boss of All Bosses
Man, did time fly by fast! I can't believe I am a college boy already... Back being a freshman once again. It was hard to make friends since it's an "in and out" school. That means that people just go to class and leave. There isn't really a campus for people to chill. Well there is a hang out spot in the Atrium building in the ground floor, but that shit is occupied by the black people (not being racist). It is especially packed during club hours on Thursdays from 12:30-2:30. Club hours are the hours where no classes are in session. Even though you do meet new people and make new friends, it's almost impossible to see them around after that semester...
Well, my isolation was mainly due to me majoring in Liberal Arts. There are too many variations between each classes to actually meet and stay with someone you knew from the previous semesters. As I was wandering around in the Liberal Arts program, I was taking all these different classes. Wait, let me rephrase that, "as I was wandering around in the Liberal Arts program, I was taking all these USELESS classes." There, looks about right now. Half of the classes I took were counted as electives which means i wasted mad time... only if I decided my major earlier.
So the first two years were wasted, but fear not! I finally decided to change my major into Hospitality Management. For all of you that think this field deals with hospitals and medical shit, you can never be more wrong. This field deals with hotels, restaurants, bakeries, and tourism. This is an awesome field because you get to learn how to make different kinds of cuisine, bake various baking products, learning about restaurant operations like creating the menu and all the aspects of cost control, hotel operations and different job positions, and tourism (I don't know much about this subfield). So for all those people that are undecided in which major they should study in, why not try Hospitality Management? But let me make one thing clear: this is a people friendly industry, which means you will be interacting with many different kinds of people. If you are short temper or not a people's person, u can try it out maybe it can change you, but otherwise this is not the right major for you!
Let go get this money bosses!
Slim Thug- Boss of All Bosses
Monday, March 1, 2010
Chapter 5: Hip-Hop Saved My Life
Okay, so I used to listen to Pop most of the time. You know... Bye Bye Bye... or Oops I Did It Again? Some M2M was good too. But all that changed as I grew older. Life took an unexpected turn. Nothing was going as smooth as I predicted it to be. My fear of not being able to graduate on time, money problems, and family issues popped out like a genie. I was compressing everything inside me so my deeper emotions won't show. But sooner or later I will explode. Listening to music was my only way of escaping reality. Pop wasn't doing that for me though so I had to find another genre... and that was Hip-Hop.
Have you ever heard the song by Lupe Fiasco called Hip Hop Saved My Life? Well mine is different from the story Lupe is telling. He is talking about how Hip-Hop gave him the needs at that moment and made his dream come true, it really is a classic hit. You all should listen to it if you haven't yet. Anyways, Hip-Hop is my only escape... all the rough times that I went through, music was the only medicine. I mean, my homies were always there for me and I feel blessed with that, but sometimes it's a solo thing. You know, something like no one else but you.
It all started on my senior year of high school. A lot of pressures were on me because of Kadish, at that same time I was having problems with my family and money issues... I been listening to Hip-Hop for a while now, but just not as in depth as now. Like back then, I can't tell from artist to artist and what lyricism is. Basically I was like the Jr High school kids now... listening to "ring-tone" rap. "Ring-tone" rap is faggots like Soulja Boy, Hurrican Chris, Gucci Mane just to name a few. That was basically the death of Hip-Hop. They changed what used to be a heart and soul music into this commercialized shit. So when I got into Hip-Hop, I started listening to their lyrics and understood the stories behind it. When I'm stressed out, I would be by myself and blast the music and drift away. I also started writing rhymes. Putting down how I feel on a piece of paper and getting shit out of my mind. This is a healthy hobby. Good Hip-Hop is like another world for me, the only escape from reality. When I listen to the lyrics I can picture myself in their shoes. My life sounds almost like heaven compared to what most of these rappers (excluding ring tone rappers) had to go through.
People keep asking me how am I so calm when I got so much shit on my back, and I would tell them the same thing over and over again. Drift away to the lyrics when listening to music, it is like another world for you to explore. Writing rhymes and listening to Hip-Hop played an important role in my life ever since. This was my only way to cope with stress. I mean everyone have their type of music, it can be Rock, Pop, R&b, Country, Jazz, Blues, etc. it doesn't have to be Hip-Hop. But to me, Hip-Hop holds more meaning. Each song tells a different story. So my Hip-Hop list grew as I listen to more artists. Oh, did I mention that they can be inspiring too? Songs like Dead and Gone by T.I., my favorite song of all time Chamillionaire ft. Scarface & Billy Cook - Rain, Busta Rhymes - Number One, Tupac - Life Goes On, etc.
Just for you all to know, my top 5 Hip-Hip artists are:
1. Chamillionaire
2. Eminem
3. Ludacris
4. Nas
5. Crooked I
Those 5 are one of the top lyricists in the game today, rather they are main stream or not. Sadly Lupe didn't make it to my top 5, but I'm on a look out for his new album L.A.S.E.R.S. Today I bring to you my freestyle.
Hip Hop Saved My Life
From wat i heard im hated
I can give 2 fucks i just dun mind it
all i need is hip hop shit is theraputic
gimme a pen and a pad and i'll give u music
without hip hop i wouldnt know how my life would turn out
i coulda been emo cuz i couldnt take my stress out
hip hop can ease ur pain release ur pressure
write downt he rhymes on a piece of paper
when situations blow, just let it go let it flow
when u rhyming u can forget bout ur role
hip hop is like the flipside of reality
u can rap bout ur life or even tales like fairies
hip hop makes me think right
hip hop keeps me from tearing in the inside
hip hop keeps me away from fights
dam hip hop really saved my life
-JCL
There are a couple songs I want to share with you all today, one of them is none other than Lupe Fiasco - Hip Hop Saved My Life.
Lupe Fiasco Ft. Nikki Jean - Hip Hop Saved My Life
Chamillionaire Ft. Scarfact & Billy Cook - Rain
Crooked I Ft. K-Young, Ya Boy & One 2 - My Story
Have you ever heard the song by Lupe Fiasco called Hip Hop Saved My Life? Well mine is different from the story Lupe is telling. He is talking about how Hip-Hop gave him the needs at that moment and made his dream come true, it really is a classic hit. You all should listen to it if you haven't yet. Anyways, Hip-Hop is my only escape... all the rough times that I went through, music was the only medicine. I mean, my homies were always there for me and I feel blessed with that, but sometimes it's a solo thing. You know, something like no one else but you.
It all started on my senior year of high school. A lot of pressures were on me because of Kadish, at that same time I was having problems with my family and money issues... I been listening to Hip-Hop for a while now, but just not as in depth as now. Like back then, I can't tell from artist to artist and what lyricism is. Basically I was like the Jr High school kids now... listening to "ring-tone" rap. "Ring-tone" rap is faggots like Soulja Boy, Hurrican Chris, Gucci Mane just to name a few. That was basically the death of Hip-Hop. They changed what used to be a heart and soul music into this commercialized shit. So when I got into Hip-Hop, I started listening to their lyrics and understood the stories behind it. When I'm stressed out, I would be by myself and blast the music and drift away. I also started writing rhymes. Putting down how I feel on a piece of paper and getting shit out of my mind. This is a healthy hobby. Good Hip-Hop is like another world for me, the only escape from reality. When I listen to the lyrics I can picture myself in their shoes. My life sounds almost like heaven compared to what most of these rappers (excluding ring tone rappers) had to go through.
People keep asking me how am I so calm when I got so much shit on my back, and I would tell them the same thing over and over again. Drift away to the lyrics when listening to music, it is like another world for you to explore. Writing rhymes and listening to Hip-Hop played an important role in my life ever since. This was my only way to cope with stress. I mean everyone have their type of music, it can be Rock, Pop, R&b, Country, Jazz, Blues, etc. it doesn't have to be Hip-Hop. But to me, Hip-Hop holds more meaning. Each song tells a different story. So my Hip-Hop list grew as I listen to more artists. Oh, did I mention that they can be inspiring too? Songs like Dead and Gone by T.I., my favorite song of all time Chamillionaire ft. Scarface & Billy Cook - Rain, Busta Rhymes - Number One, Tupac - Life Goes On, etc.
Just for you all to know, my top 5 Hip-Hip artists are:
1. Chamillionaire
2. Eminem
3. Ludacris
4. Nas
5. Crooked I
Those 5 are one of the top lyricists in the game today, rather they are main stream or not. Sadly Lupe didn't make it to my top 5, but I'm on a look out for his new album L.A.S.E.R.S. Today I bring to you my freestyle.
Hip Hop Saved My Life
From wat i heard im hated
I can give 2 fucks i just dun mind it
all i need is hip hop shit is theraputic
gimme a pen and a pad and i'll give u music
without hip hop i wouldnt know how my life would turn out
i coulda been emo cuz i couldnt take my stress out
hip hop can ease ur pain release ur pressure
write downt he rhymes on a piece of paper
when situations blow, just let it go let it flow
when u rhyming u can forget bout ur role
hip hop is like the flipside of reality
u can rap bout ur life or even tales like fairies
hip hop makes me think right
hip hop keeps me from tearing in the inside
hip hop keeps me away from fights
dam hip hop really saved my life
-JCL
There are a couple songs I want to share with you all today, one of them is none other than Lupe Fiasco - Hip Hop Saved My Life.
Lupe Fiasco Ft. Nikki Jean - Hip Hop Saved My Life
Chamillionaire Ft. Scarfact & Billy Cook - Rain
Crooked I Ft. K-Young, Ya Boy & One 2 - My Story
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Chapter 4: Worthless
Been really busy lately so I didn't have time to update my blog... right now I m finally free... for a little bit at least so here is the long awaited chapter 4.
WARNING: THIS BLOG ENTRY CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND IMAGINARY VIOLENCE, PLEASE HAVE PARENTAL GUIDANCE IF YOU ARE UNDER 13.
WARNING: THIS BLOG ENTRY CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND IMAGINARY VIOLENCE, PLEASE HAVE PARENTAL GUIDANCE IF YOU ARE UNDER 13.
Senior year is here!!! Man that was quick. Can't believe it's already been four years in Dewey. We all are about to go our own ways and start a new life. Senior year was probably the best year I spent in Dewey, also the worse year. I had only 4 classes and no pressure at all... well for most part of it anyways. I never took any foreign language class before and I need at least one year of foreign language to graduate. So I took Spanish. Haha that brings back some memories, Spanish with Ms. Lupin was fun since Double D and I were always just chilling there. OH! I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT FAGGOT ASS KADISH. You know, that fat piece of shit that's always talking about his surfing stories and how he used to be a lawyer? Well, if you weren't from Dewey then you would't know about him. Anyways he was the biggest fag I have seen thus far. Hope he drown when he goes surfing, his family never find his body cause that shit is gonna be eaten by a fucking shark, and he burn in fucking hell. That fat piece of fucking shit deserves nothing less than that.
Why I hate him so much, you may ask. Well, he failed me in government. If I didn't pass the DISK for government then I wouldn't be able to graduate on time ( I don't think summer school covers government) since it was one of the requirements. Why the fuck would he fail an A++++ student, you may ask. Well, I didn't hand in one mother fucking essay. Let see, I passed his midterm and final with 80+; I was only absent for around 2-3 times; I completed my community service hours for the class and I did all the homework assignments, except for the essay paper. I remember it like it was yesterday... it was the day before Spring break. He said to the WHOLE CLASS that for anyone who got a low score in their midterm, take this opportunity to redeem yourself. For the people that passed the midterm with a high grade, this paper is optional.
So when Spring break was over, and the paper was due. He calls row and asks each individual if they had the paper, if they do hand it in. This tall white guy that looked like 26 was the first person. He was a very talkative guy in class and participates a lot, but guess what? HE DID NOT DO IT. I'm pretty sure he passed the class though. Then the second guy gets called, he didn't do it either. So faggot ass Kadish moved on. Bleh bleh bleh and it was my turn, since he gave this kid in front of me a chance to hand it in late, I responded with "I don't have it, can I give it in tomorrow." He then he asked me what does my boss do if I go to work late, I said she don't do anything. He then disrespects my boss by calling her stupid, I was about to explode on him but thank god my intelligence got the better of me. He wasn't finished with me yet, out of all the people that didn't hand in the essay he decides to give ME a 30 minute lecture. He embarrassed me in front of the whole class, he disrespected my boss, what was worse was that he failed me. That fat piece of shit probably have countless dicks in his brain. Only if I could get a chance to shit on him like diarrhea...
That was the most humiliating moment in my high school life. That mother fucker should have been dead along with Hitler. And I got through that horrible cycle. I had to take a DISK, and I passed it with a MC.
I had him again the cycle after that. Without a second thought, I went to my guidance counselor Ms. Pawsner (forgot how to spell her name) and told her change my teacher. She ashed me why, I looked her directly into the eyes without blinking and said "he can't teach for life, I want to graduate." She understood me right away and asked no further questions. She then changed me to Autovino, another fat guy. But he was funny as fuck and he's cool, right PAUPAU?
In conclusion, the world needs to get rid of faggots like Kadish. Good for nothing worthless bitchass. May god guide you to a speeding car driven by a drunk bastard. Amen.
This song's title strongly shows my emotions at that current moment. I'm Fed up with his shit.
DJ Khaled ft. various artists - Fed Up
So when Spring break was over, and the paper was due. He calls row and asks each individual if they had the paper, if they do hand it in. This tall white guy that looked like 26 was the first person. He was a very talkative guy in class and participates a lot, but guess what? HE DID NOT DO IT. I'm pretty sure he passed the class though. Then the second guy gets called, he didn't do it either. So faggot ass Kadish moved on. Bleh bleh bleh and it was my turn, since he gave this kid in front of me a chance to hand it in late, I responded with "I don't have it, can I give it in tomorrow." He then he asked me what does my boss do if I go to work late, I said she don't do anything. He then disrespects my boss by calling her stupid, I was about to explode on him but thank god my intelligence got the better of me. He wasn't finished with me yet, out of all the people that didn't hand in the essay he decides to give ME a 30 minute lecture. He embarrassed me in front of the whole class, he disrespected my boss, what was worse was that he failed me. That fat piece of shit probably have countless dicks in his brain. Only if I could get a chance to shit on him like diarrhea...
That was the most humiliating moment in my high school life. That mother fucker should have been dead along with Hitler. And I got through that horrible cycle. I had to take a DISK, and I passed it with a MC.
I had him again the cycle after that. Without a second thought, I went to my guidance counselor Ms. Pawsner (forgot how to spell her name) and told her change my teacher. She ashed me why, I looked her directly into the eyes without blinking and said "he can't teach for life, I want to graduate." She understood me right away and asked no further questions. She then changed me to Autovino, another fat guy. But he was funny as fuck and he's cool, right PAUPAU?
In conclusion, the world needs to get rid of faggots like Kadish. Good for nothing worthless bitchass. May god guide you to a speeding car driven by a drunk bastard. Amen.
This song's title strongly shows my emotions at that current moment. I'm Fed up with his shit.
DJ Khaled ft. various artists - Fed Up
Monday, February 8, 2010
Chapter 3B: Trickery
I remember I said that will be a new chapter in my life at that moment, so here it is. This is just a short side story that happened to the Twins, R00ster, Muffin, and I.
It was the Black Friday of 2008. We decided it would be fun to camp out, so we did. If i remembered correctly it was at around 11 PM when we took the R train to Whitehall so we can transfer to the Staten Island Ferry. We missed the ferry so we had to wait like half an hour. The food there were so expensive. Anyways, we got on the ferry. One of us (wasn't me because I was too busy playing my PSP) noticed some random dude's zippers were unzipped and saw some earthshaking things. That was funny as fuck. Then R00ster and I got thirsty so we went to buy a drink in the ferry. He said he's gonna practicing "I'm So Hood," the black guy in front of us overheard it and started laughing.
So we got off the ferry and had to go to the bus station. The bus that we were supposed to take wasn't gonna be there until a couple hours later so we decided to take another bus. I think it was the S59 bus which stopped at Richmond. According to the bus driver, it was a 10 minute walk to Staten Island Mall but you all can guess what happened. When we got off the bus we were puzzled about which way the mall is. Then out of nowhere this old man that was in the same bus as us approached us and directed us the way, we thanked him and got moving. As we were walking, we realized something was wrong because R00ster, Muffin, and I went there last year and none of us remembered any of the buildings that we passed. Thank god that I had my sidekick, so we googled up the directions and found out that old ass motherfucker directed us the opposite way while he went the right way. Our guesses was that he must be on the rush to camp out as well.
Us, 5 Asians that were tight as fuck at that moment got going. By the time we arrived to Staten Island Mall we were like two hundred people behind. We were chilling on the BestBuy line, as cold as ever just standing there waiting to get in. Only the top 10 or so can get the cheap laptop ticket. When they got it, they would walk down the line asking if people want to buy it for like 50-100 bucks. The securities there were warning people that the ticket they buying might be counterfeit. So we waited for around 2 hours and finally got in. The first thought in my mind was it was warm as fuck in here. It was also so crowded. We just wandered around BestBuy for a little bit and moved on to the mall to cop some cheap clothes. There were a lot of shawties there and a lot of ugly ass guys. The discounts were so crazy we shopped for like 4+ hours.
We finished shopping by 12 and were tired and hungryas fuck. So we took the S79 straight to Bay Ridge. All 5 of us assed out on the bus, we were embracing our prizes of Black Friday so no one can jack them as we sleep peacefully. We went to eat lunch with R00ster's parents afterwards and I forgot what happened afterwards.
So the theme of this story is to never trust any stranger that approaches you especially at critical times such as our experience. That old man tricked us, I bet he was happy as fuck as he walked to Staten Island Mall thinking he will be ahead of 5 more people.
EDIT>>>> There's gonna be random side stories as chapter progresses, stay tune!
MIDDLE FINGER UP FOR THAT OLD BITCH FAGGOT MAYNE
Chamillionaire - Middle Finger Up
It was the Black Friday of 2008. We decided it would be fun to camp out, so we did. If i remembered correctly it was at around 11 PM when we took the R train to Whitehall so we can transfer to the Staten Island Ferry. We missed the ferry so we had to wait like half an hour. The food there were so expensive. Anyways, we got on the ferry. One of us (wasn't me because I was too busy playing my PSP) noticed some random dude's zippers were unzipped and saw some earthshaking things. That was funny as fuck. Then R00ster and I got thirsty so we went to buy a drink in the ferry. He said he's gonna practicing "I'm So Hood," the black guy in front of us overheard it and started laughing.
So we got off the ferry and had to go to the bus station. The bus that we were supposed to take wasn't gonna be there until a couple hours later so we decided to take another bus. I think it was the S59 bus which stopped at Richmond. According to the bus driver, it was a 10 minute walk to Staten Island Mall but you all can guess what happened. When we got off the bus we were puzzled about which way the mall is. Then out of nowhere this old man that was in the same bus as us approached us and directed us the way, we thanked him and got moving. As we were walking, we realized something was wrong because R00ster, Muffin, and I went there last year and none of us remembered any of the buildings that we passed. Thank god that I had my sidekick, so we googled up the directions and found out that old ass motherfucker directed us the opposite way while he went the right way. Our guesses was that he must be on the rush to camp out as well.
Us, 5 Asians that were tight as fuck at that moment got going. By the time we arrived to Staten Island Mall we were like two hundred people behind. We were chilling on the BestBuy line, as cold as ever just standing there waiting to get in. Only the top 10 or so can get the cheap laptop ticket. When they got it, they would walk down the line asking if people want to buy it for like 50-100 bucks. The securities there were warning people that the ticket they buying might be counterfeit. So we waited for around 2 hours and finally got in. The first thought in my mind was it was warm as fuck in here. It was also so crowded. We just wandered around BestBuy for a little bit and moved on to the mall to cop some cheap clothes. There were a lot of shawties there and a lot of ugly ass guys. The discounts were so crazy we shopped for like 4+ hours.
We finished shopping by 12 and were tired and hungryas fuck. So we took the S79 straight to Bay Ridge. All 5 of us assed out on the bus, we were embracing our prizes of Black Friday so no one can jack them as we sleep peacefully. We went to eat lunch with R00ster's parents afterwards and I forgot what happened afterwards.
So the theme of this story is to never trust any stranger that approaches you especially at critical times such as our experience. That old man tricked us, I bet he was happy as fuck as he walked to Staten Island Mall thinking he will be ahead of 5 more people.
EDIT>>>> There's gonna be random side stories as chapter progresses, stay tune!
MIDDLE FINGER UP FOR THAT OLD BITCH FAGGOT MAYNE
Chamillionaire - Middle Finger Up
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Chapter 3A: Down to Ride
Most of the highlights of my life occurred during the four years in Dewey. The good and the bad, the high and the low, the beautiful and the ugly all happened during my high school time.
As a freshman in Dewey I didn't know where i belong. Everyone got their own crew to chill with. They got the gangsters, the emo/Gothics, the hacky sack fags, the nerds, and the ANIME GEEKS. It was hard for me to fit in so i was like an outsider. That was until I met my niggas. Since I am at this part let me take a moment to shout out to all my homies, R00ster, Pau Gor, Rat, Muffin, Pussyass Lee, Afro Wong and D Square. It's ride or die, ya'll already know I am always down to ride.
So back to the story, the reason why I capitalized ANIME GEEKS is because those fags hustled my 2 dollars. I was second place in the Yu-Gi-Oh tournament and I didn't get shit, those cheap ass mother fuckers. I am not gonna wish bad on nobody so good luck to that 21 year old fat shit which was the creator of the Anime Club that's fucking with the 14 year old girl (she grown now, but still ugly as fuck). When I met my homies, I knew that was where I belong. The shit we do and places we go defined us. I still remember that Maplestory was the shit at that time. But I couldn't play it until later on because my computer was an artifact.
Come to think of it, I didn't really had many classes with you all. I met you all differently. Let's see, I met R00ster, Pau Gor, Rat, and Muffin in the Math RC when we were talking about Gunbound. I met Afro Wong in Details I believe. I met Pussyass Lee (only none Dewey head) in YMCA and D Square in MP. I still remember D Square and I rocked with Ms. Lupin. She gonna fucking throw bananas at you if you don't pay attention. Ha ha, just kidding, she is a really good teacher I actually learned from that class. Remember the beginning of each new cycle? That was like always the best day of the cycle, we would all go to the Math RC after homeroom and compare program cards. We would not go to any of the classes that whole day. Remember all the times when we got caught by truancy? That one time we were sent to the precinct in Coney Island. That was the stupidest shit ever. I was sent to the corner for no reason and they didn't let me out until J band. They made me cut almost the whole day. Oh almost forgot, who remembers me spearing Muffin across the hallway? Ha ha, that shit was insane.
I never knew I would say this but those four years of my life were well spent. When I was still in Dewey I just wanted to get the fuck out of it as soon as possible. Now that I am in college, I want to go back to high school again... You don't know what you got until it's gone, I guess this true for most of us. Even though that school did not offer much of an education, but the bonds that i made were forever lasting. Friends are for life. They always gonna be my niggas no matter what. We always gonna ride.
Don't we all wish we could turn back the hands of time? Go back to the point that you have done a great wrong and try to prevent it from happening? That's how life is, things happen for a reason. If you didn't do what you did back then, then you wouldn't be the same "you" today.
Time
Time goes by in a blink of an eye
I gotta kiss my past good bye
There were moments where I wish I could turn back the hands of time
Redo the things i have done so I could be redefined
But reality sets in, so I gotta stay keen
Streets of hardknocks and common sense is where i been
When I look back in my life I figured out many things
Learned from the experiences that i have gained
Vow to never make the same mistakes
Taking things in my own pace
Success is just a breath away
Dedication and determination is all it takes
We in a war against time
Take your chances lets see u shine
-JCL
Here's a song for this post, one of my favorites off T.I.'s Paper Trail album:
T.I. ft. John Legend - Slideshow
As a freshman in Dewey I didn't know where i belong. Everyone got their own crew to chill with. They got the gangsters, the emo/Gothics, the hacky sack fags, the nerds, and the ANIME GEEKS. It was hard for me to fit in so i was like an outsider. That was until I met my niggas. Since I am at this part let me take a moment to shout out to all my homies, R00ster, Pau Gor, Rat, Muffin, Pussyass Lee, Afro Wong and D Square. It's ride or die, ya'll already know I am always down to ride.
So back to the story, the reason why I capitalized ANIME GEEKS is because those fags hustled my 2 dollars. I was second place in the Yu-Gi-Oh tournament and I didn't get shit, those cheap ass mother fuckers. I am not gonna wish bad on nobody so good luck to that 21 year old fat shit which was the creator of the Anime Club that's fucking with the 14 year old girl (she grown now, but still ugly as fuck). When I met my homies, I knew that was where I belong. The shit we do and places we go defined us. I still remember that Maplestory was the shit at that time. But I couldn't play it until later on because my computer was an artifact.
Come to think of it, I didn't really had many classes with you all. I met you all differently. Let's see, I met R00ster, Pau Gor, Rat, and Muffin in the Math RC when we were talking about Gunbound. I met Afro Wong in Details I believe. I met Pussyass Lee (only none Dewey head) in YMCA and D Square in MP. I still remember D Square and I rocked with Ms. Lupin. She gonna fucking throw bananas at you if you don't pay attention. Ha ha, just kidding, she is a really good teacher I actually learned from that class. Remember the beginning of each new cycle? That was like always the best day of the cycle, we would all go to the Math RC after homeroom and compare program cards. We would not go to any of the classes that whole day. Remember all the times when we got caught by truancy? That one time we were sent to the precinct in Coney Island. That was the stupidest shit ever. I was sent to the corner for no reason and they didn't let me out until J band. They made me cut almost the whole day. Oh almost forgot, who remembers me spearing Muffin across the hallway? Ha ha, that shit was insane.
I never knew I would say this but those four years of my life were well spent. When I was still in Dewey I just wanted to get the fuck out of it as soon as possible. Now that I am in college, I want to go back to high school again... You don't know what you got until it's gone, I guess this true for most of us. Even though that school did not offer much of an education, but the bonds that i made were forever lasting. Friends are for life. They always gonna be my niggas no matter what. We always gonna ride.
Don't we all wish we could turn back the hands of time? Go back to the point that you have done a great wrong and try to prevent it from happening? That's how life is, things happen for a reason. If you didn't do what you did back then, then you wouldn't be the same "you" today.
Time
Time goes by in a blink of an eye
I gotta kiss my past good bye
There were moments where I wish I could turn back the hands of time
Redo the things i have done so I could be redefined
But reality sets in, so I gotta stay keen
Streets of hardknocks and common sense is where i been
When I look back in my life I figured out many things
Learned from the experiences that i have gained
Vow to never make the same mistakes
Taking things in my own pace
Success is just a breath away
Dedication and determination is all it takes
We in a war against time
Take your chances lets see u shine
-JCL
Here's a song for this post, one of my favorites off T.I.'s Paper Trail album:
T.I. ft. John Legend - Slideshow
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Chapter 2: Everyday I'm Hustlin'
I was already in Jr. High in a blink of an eye. Time go by so fast. Without me knowing it, I m already at the age where money played a bigger part of my life. I mean money always did play a part in my life, but back then it was just used to buy snacks. Now I m at an age where fashion counts more. Since that was not possible because of the kind of family I m growing up from, i had to find another way to make it happen. I did not get allowance until my sophomore year in high school so that was out of the question. I had to find a way to make money...fast... So i met my homeboy Gen at that time, together we going to do it big.
That idea came at me when I was in 6 grade. Yu-Gi-Oh was the shit at that time so i took advantage of it. If i remember right I did not spend more then $30 in this card game. My first deck was given to me by this kid name David. He was a very friendly guy, no homo. So with that shitty deck, my friend and I started hustling our ways up. Our brain was made for this kind of shit. I see a lot of little kids that got too much money in their hand so I decided to help them spend some of that money. Every hustler have a designated location to hustle people, and mine was the Brooklyn Public Library. That place was the shit for the kids and teenagers, you can use computer for free and it can be a chill spot.
So this was our plan, we will lose to them on purpose at first then trick them into playing us for keeps. This trap is so simple but yet worked flawlessly. It wasn't just the kids that we were hustling, there were people my age too. No lie, i was proud of myself because if I didn't have the skills to back up my hustle i wouldn't have succeeded. From a deck of 40 cards where 38 of them were regular common cards to a deck of 40 cards which 37 of them became holograms. I was known as the Yu-Gi-Oh master in the library and these kids always come to me for advice. So now I got all these rare cards and it's time to make that paper.
Gen and I started selling these rare cards. It's easy 20 bucks a piece. Some rarer cards such as faggot Jinzo or the gay ass bird Yada can go as high as 30 bucks a piece. My hustling future looked bright ahead. I was doing this until my junior year of high school. Now thinking back, it was such a carefree life... only if I could turn back the hands of time...
So today is 2/02/2010 which is exactly my 11th year in NYC. Happy anniversary to me.
Starting with this blog on I will post a song that describes how I m feeling at that moment, and the winner for this chapter is none other then...EVERYDAY IM HUSTLIN BY OFFICER RICKY
EDIT>>> Maybe I'll drop a freestyle once in a while...
Rick Ross ft. Jay-Z & Young Jeezy - Everyday I'm Hustlin'
That idea came at me when I was in 6 grade. Yu-Gi-Oh was the shit at that time so i took advantage of it. If i remember right I did not spend more then $30 in this card game. My first deck was given to me by this kid name David. He was a very friendly guy, no homo. So with that shitty deck, my friend and I started hustling our ways up. Our brain was made for this kind of shit. I see a lot of little kids that got too much money in their hand so I decided to help them spend some of that money. Every hustler have a designated location to hustle people, and mine was the Brooklyn Public Library. That place was the shit for the kids and teenagers, you can use computer for free and it can be a chill spot.
So this was our plan, we will lose to them on purpose at first then trick them into playing us for keeps. This trap is so simple but yet worked flawlessly. It wasn't just the kids that we were hustling, there were people my age too. No lie, i was proud of myself because if I didn't have the skills to back up my hustle i wouldn't have succeeded. From a deck of 40 cards where 38 of them were regular common cards to a deck of 40 cards which 37 of them became holograms. I was known as the Yu-Gi-Oh master in the library and these kids always come to me for advice. So now I got all these rare cards and it's time to make that paper.
Gen and I started selling these rare cards. It's easy 20 bucks a piece. Some rarer cards such as faggot Jinzo or the gay ass bird Yada can go as high as 30 bucks a piece. My hustling future looked bright ahead. I was doing this until my junior year of high school. Now thinking back, it was such a carefree life... only if I could turn back the hands of time...
So today is 2/02/2010 which is exactly my 11th year in NYC. Happy anniversary to me.
Starting with this blog on I will post a song that describes how I m feeling at that moment, and the winner for this chapter is none other then...EVERYDAY IM HUSTLIN BY OFFICER RICKY
EDIT>>> Maybe I'll drop a freestyle once in a while...
Rick Ross ft. Jay-Z & Young Jeezy - Everyday I'm Hustlin'
Monday, February 1, 2010
Chapter 1: Whole new life
Alright, so while reading Thomas' blogs I thought it was pretty interesting so I decided that I want to write bout shit that happened/happen/will happen in my life too. So here we go.
Starting a complete new life aint easy. Especially when I don't know anything about this culture and language. When i attended PS 163 i went straight to the 4th grade. I did not have any friends and i did not speak one word of English at that moment. I had to start from scratch. My neighbor introduced me to this girl name Helen, she was Chinese and was in my class. I guess she was a blessing to me since she was my first friend and she was also a translator. I had to take ESL class and harder than all other kids. Making new friends were hard because of the language barrier as well. As time passed i got used to this new lifestyle and things started to get a little bit easier.
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